By Ryan Burns / May 22, 5:25 p.m.

The Clit Clamp Caper

Some people shoplift out of desperation; others do it for the thrill. Perhaps the woman pictured above had thrills in mind when she allegedly stole a clit clamp (yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like) from Good Relations in Old Town Eureka.

Store Manager Meghan Riley recently sent out an email to give fellow Eureka merchants the, uh, “heads up.”

Attached is a picture of a woman suspected of stealing from us on 5-14-12. … She claimed to be a social worker, and then asked if we were hiring. She has blonde hair, one side is shaved and she has a blue streak. She took the alleged item (A Clitoral Clamp) out of the packaging, and ditched the packaging in a nook of our store.

All of this was caught on security camera, Riley said in a follow-up email to the Journal. The woman left the store before she could be confronted. You could say she got off without being pinched.

parks, Public Works / By Heidi Walters / May 22, 11:58 a.m.

Go Grizz!

Whooooo-wheee!

Grease up the Dutch oven, knock the mold off the tent, gather up the kids and haul your camping-starved selves over to Grizzly Creek Redwoods State Park. It’s been closed since May 1 because of the state’s budget fiasco. It will reopen in time for this Memorial Day weekend.

Moments ago, the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors approved an operating agreement with the California Department of Parks and Recreation that will keep the park open for a year. After that, who knows? Maybe the state legislature will have arrived at a neat solution. Maybe an asteroid will hit the lovely spot and make other options moot. Maybe the county will decide to run it another year.

Under the agreement, county public works staff— in particular, the resident park tender at the county’s nearby parks (Swimmer’s Delight and Pamplin Grove) - will oversee the park; Sheriff’s deputies will patrol; state parks staff will manage hazard trees, regulatory issues and the water system; and the nonprofit Save the Redwoods League will kick in some funds - up to $60,000. You, dear picnickers and campers, will also contribute: by loving the place, visiting it and paying the day use and camping fees.

Those fees, by the way, will initially remain at the state level: $5 for day use and $35 per night/per vehicle campsite fee. Instead of using the online reservation system the state uses, the county will allow campers in on a first-come, first-served basis. The camping fees might drop - the board will hold a public hearing in the near future to discuss lowering the camping fees to $25. As County Counsel Wendy Chaitin explained, the board can’t introduce a new county park fee without a hearing, so until then they could charge the existing state park fee or ask for donations. Public Works Director Tom Mattson said his department couldn’t afford to rely on donations.

For more on the park closures and efforts to keep our local state parks open, you can read the Journal‘s coverage here.

Now go enjoy that 1940s vibe of the charming peaked-roof visitors center and the ancient thrill of virgin redwoods. And the Van Duzen River, of course.

By Barry Evans / May 21, 9:04 p.m.

Eclipse from Fairhaven

While some were whooping it up in Kneeland or being bowled over by our good luck in Old Town, Jacob Pounds was actually taking photos on the Fairhaven beach. Tripod + Canon S95 (c’mon, it’s just a fancy point-and-shoot!) + eclipse mylar = the above (“Cheshire cat sun”) and below (halfway through our four minutes of annularity).

His 8-ball isn’t too shabby, either.

Pets / By Carrie Peyton Dahlberg / May 21, 3:41 p.m.

Your Dog is Dead

Guest post from Mark Dondero of Orleans, the land of abandoned dogs:

This is an open letter to whoever abandoned a German shorthair pointer named Toby in Orleans, Calif., on St. Patrick’s Day, 2005.

Your dog is dead. Actually, once you kicked him out of your car and he found his way to our house, he became our dog. He had a red collar with a piece of foil tucked under it. Inside the foil was this note on a piece of yellow steno notepad paper:

HI MY

NAME

I TOBY

I cAn’t live in the

city Anymore. Im A

good dog, I don’t cHAse cAts

I get Along good with

kids & oTher dogs unless

They sTArT something.

 

I Like to chAse sticks

& dirt clods.

That was all true. He was a good dog.

(MORE)

nature / By Heidi Walters / May 21, 12:15 a.m.

Eclipsed in Kneeland

Eclipsers mobbed Kneeland Airport and the surrounding bucolic countryside Sunday evening to watch the annular eclipse. Meadowlarks sang and the people sprawled their picnicking selves all over the rolling green goodness.

On the tarmac, the fabulous Astronomers of Humboldt and assorted other sky nerds — bless them! — brought assorted contraptions for viewing the annular eclipse.

Dan Eaton brought his nifty solar scope, a $62 kit he bought online (its huge image was the hit o’ the eclipse:

Sun Frost fridge maker Larry Schlussler brought his low-tech cardboard, tape and reflective mirror gizmo, which cast a nice sharp image:

Michael Quinlan, Kneeland School teacher and principal, brought three long, wood scopes he and the kids made at school (they kept one and gave one to Garfield School and one to the astronomy club):

Of course some people used those elusive glasses (why didn’t local stores stock up on more of the darned things?). Others had welding masks and welding mask filters and welding masks mounted onto cameras. Telescopes. Binoculars. And champagne boxes.

Cell phone shots yielded an orphan eclipse next to the shockbright orb:

Everyone clapped when the ring of fire appeared (yes, it was kind of cloudy, but you could see it through some scopes). “Well?” said a guy as the ring changed to a crescent and the smoky eclipse low light slowly traded places with sun and cloud. “Did they speak to anyone? Did anyone receive a message?”

A woman standing apart from it all said she did almost expect the moon people to come down. 

Then the meadowlarks burst back into song. And everyone fled back down the hill. Slowly. Traffic-jammed.

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