Tales from the CryptTok

(October 26, 2023) Timestamp: Sept. 20, 2023 Location: Trinidad, CA Hey Grave Babies, it's me, Shyla, your favorite tomb raider! I know it's been a few weeks since I posted but I've been...

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I Love Fall and COVID is Not Ruining It, Dammit

(October 5, 2023) The scent of leaves, crisp air, it's fall — my favorite season and roughly a third of my personality. Oh, you like fall, too? That's cute. I keep a dedicated room...

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FAQ About Your Changing Body

(August 31, 2023) It's been a challenge putting together an FAQ that works in every state and doesn't squick out Ron DeSantis. But we can still offer vital health information for growing children...

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Zoo Animal Council Meeting Minutes

(June 15, 2023) On April 22, the Ferndale City Council voted against a proposed kindness resolution, the scaled back version of an earlier anti-hate resolution. Giraffe: The next item is the proposed Anti-Shit-Throwing...

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An Invitation from All-Alpha Pack Coaching

(March 30, 2023) Being an Alpha male was simpler when early Homo sapiens man threw on an animal skin, grabbed a cool club and hunted for survival. He had one skin, maybe like,...

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Wishful Weed Strains for 2023

(March 16, 2023) Weed Who Must Not Be Named. Who knew we'd need a Patronus against J.K. Rowling? Here to aid you in the defense against dark transphobes is a Potions Master's concoction...

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Wytch Wellness™

(January 19, 2023) Everyone wishes there was a magic potion for wellness and at Wytch Wellness™, there is! If you're ready to commit (for eternity), we can help you transform your life, ditch...

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Personal Rebranding for 2023

(January 5, 2023) As I look back at resolutions past, I see a disheartening pattern of vows and good habits tossed aside before Valentine's Day, along with blank journals, gym membership cards, rattling...

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The Elf on the Shelf is Begging You Not to Put Him Out This Year

(December 8, 2022) That time of year already? Ha, seems like only yesterday you stuffed me in here with the Christmas stockings. Not that I mind! In fact, if I'm totally honest, by...

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New Starbucks Holiday Drinks

(November 24, 2022) With our iconic Pumpkin Spice Latte and Peppermint Mocha, Starbucks owns the holiday beverage, but you can't rest on your laurels in this business. That means our team is...

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Yelp Reviews of Voting

(November 10, 2022) Trevor P. ★ ★ ★ Pretty disappointed by the lack of grim music, furtive shuffling and tense voice overs I was expecting after watching that voter fraud documentary my...

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Tips for Throwing a Forced Birth Shower®

(September 29, 2022) Who doesn't love a baby shower, sitting around with a bunch of ladies playing guess the baby food flavor and griping about who came up with the idea to name...

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The Cat Would Like You to Stop Being So Divisive

(September 15, 2022) Well, well, well. Once again, I reach out to you and I'm met with verbal abuse, blame and violence. It's like I can't even extend a paw and drag a...

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How to Run Your Life Like a Public Meeting

(July 28, 2022) Good evening, everyone, and thank you for joining us, well, me. We have a very full agenda tonight and I'd like to end by 9 p.m. so I can clear...

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What's to Blame for Mass Shootings?

A handy flowchart for not addressing guns

(June 23, 2022) The recent mass shootings have been deeply painful for all of us, and by "all of us" I mean gun manufacturers, lobbyists and our staunch allies in government. Even...

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