Last month’s Public Safety Power Shutoffs in Humboldt County taught all of us here at PG&E a number of valuable lessons. First and foremost was that our communication flow with local government and law enforcement agencies, as well as media, was nearly as Byzantine and mysterious as the power grid we refuse to show you. […]
Seriously?
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Supernatural Web MD
For years Web MD’s symptom checker has helped millions to input their aches, pains, twitches and itches into a flowchart of data that shows what they might indicate. It also quickly and easily escalates both nagging concerns and mild curiosities into utter assurance that you’ve got flesh-eating bacteria on your brain. Since none of us […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
The Cat Would Like to Offer an Apology
Good morning. You’re probably wondering why I’m here, just a few minutes before dawn, with my full weight pressing down on your chest and my extended claws resting lightly on your neck. I’m hoping now is a good time to talk. Despite the passage of nearly a year, it seems you’re still holding onto some […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
New Baby Names
Naming your baby can be a daunting task. After all, it’s literally how they’ll introduce themselves to the world in person and on résumés. You need something you can coo to an infant, shriek at a teenager and whisper softly as you massage your temple when their offspring are careening around your home during the […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
A Word about the ‘Threat’ of White Supremacy
In the wake of the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas, by a white supremacist gunman who left a violent, racist manifesto before he murdered 22 people, Fox News host Tucker Carlson went on air and declared the threat of white supremacists “a conspiracy theory used to divide the country and keep a hold on […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Totally Exonerated
Hey, everybody. Some of you may have already heard that Laura and I have broken up. In our six months together, cohabitating for the last two months, we loved, laughed and, yes, discovered some incompatibilities. I’d like to believe we’ll always be friends but that may take time. You know how it is! And I […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Should You Blame the Media?
Illustration by Jonathan Webster Related Stories
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Cannabis Strains for 2019 Stress*
Ivy Express. Soothing notes of yacht deck wax and bubble sheet are the result of crossing Legacy Pledge and Aunt Becky. Together, they replace parental worry over your child’s future with the relaxed confidence of 1-percenters who’ve bought their underachieving offspring’s way into a name-brand university with alacrity — a word their kid will never […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Farewell from McKinley’s Statue
Oh, hi. Well, this is awkward. I mean, I figured we’d run into each other at the farmers market or whatever before I left. That’s breaking up in Humboldt for you. I would have turned around and given you an out but, you know. You heard I’m leaving, right? Yeah, Canton, Ohio. The old stomping […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
An Idiot Rationalizes: Why I Will Not be Using Your Preferred Pronouns
Editor’s note: To avoid any confusion, please note that this is a work of satire. Call people what they wish to be called. We’ve been friends for a long time and when you announced that you are non-binary I wanted to be a supportive ally. Remember, I was one of the first people wearing a […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Welcome to the Stone Cleanse®
Here at Stone Cleanse® Ranch, our goal is wellness through the limitless power of Nature (copyright pending), drawing wisdoms from other cultures so you don’t have to interact with them. We intuit that those of you coming into our circle for the first time have questions. We’re listening. Literally. Five unpaid interns in our Stone […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Yelp Reviews of Christmas Dinner at Carol’s House
Scott P. ★★★★★ Amazing!!! This was hands-down the best Christmas dinner ever. The ham was — sorry, Gramma, RIP — even better without the pineapple and maraschino cherries. The conversation was excellent and even though we disagreed, I felt real love and connection for everyone. The memory of stories from the elders, catching up with […]