As I age, I read the local obituaries more often to see if any of my friends or former colleagues have died. I am sure I am not the only senior who has developed this informative yet morbid habit.
I have noticed the obits have a style, a form and, moreover, describe in peaceful, glowing terms a person’s passing: “Passed away at his home surrounded by family and prayers;” “passed away peacefully in his sleep;” “all who knew and loved her are invited to a celebratory potluck at her residence;” “in lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation;” “a celebration of life to be held Sunday, Feb. 7”.
I do not doubt that a few of us die as described in the obituary pages, a select fortunate few. But just as true is that many of us die alone, despondent and institutionally medicated. These stories never make it to the obituary pages of our local newspapers. This was true for my friend Antonio Valladares.
Deaths and Funeral Notices
Antonio Valladares
Antonio passed away alone, in pain and despondent at Seaview Rehabilitation and Wellness Center on the evening of Jan. 15. He was 69. Antonio was born in eastern central Mexico, in the state of Puebla. He was an undocumented immigrant who, according to the coroner, shared a social security number with six other undocumented workers.
In November of 2014, Antonio, who had suffered a debilitating stroke eight years previously, moved to Eureka. He came not of his own free will, but was arbitrarily shipped here from the Wish-I-Ah Skilled Nursing Facility in Fresno, which had been decertified by the state. Shlomo Rechnitz, the owner of the Fresno facility and of Seaview Rehabilitation and Wellness Center in Eureka, chose not to bring Wish-I-Ah into compliance. Instead, he closed it and sent its patients to his other facilities throughout the state. Without discussion or consultation, Antonio ended up isolated from other Spanish speakers here in Eureka, save for a small portion of the transient housekeeping staff at Seaview.
One of Antonio’s favorite pastimes while at Seaview was coloring. He loved bright vibrant colors; red and green were his favorites. Antonio’s room became an art gallery filled with adult coloring book pages. He died surrounded with the reds and greens of his efforts to remain Antonio Valladares to the end.
Antonio is survived by scores of other Seaview residents, who through whispered word of mouth, have learned of his death and deal with the fear and depression that come with knowing they might face a similar end.
Antonio was preceded in death by countless other patients at Seaview and other facilities, people whose life stories, loves and passions we will never know, and whose passings were never honored or celebrated.
There will be no celebration of life for Antonio. It is the policy of Seaview not to inform its residents that one of their neighbors has died, and no ceremony will be held to mark his passing. No opportunity will be provided at the facility to allow anyone to grieve for the death of Señor Valladares.
I know it is not likely that I will ever read that sort of obituary in our local newspaper, but I cannot help but wonder if we wouldn’t all be a bit better off if we could. In so doing, we would be facing the secrecy and anonymity of institutionalized death. We would confront the fact that we have created a system and a culture in which many of us die horribly lonely and despondent deaths.
If we did that, we would be giving meaning to the life of Antonio Valladares.
For the complete context of Antonio’s story, check out a great article by Linda Stansberry, “The Shut Out,” in the July 9, 2015, edition of the Journal.
Oh, yes, in lieu of flowers for Antonio, think about becoming a long-term care ombudsman through the Area 1 Agency on Aging. Contact Program Manager Suzi Fregeau at 434 Seventh St., Suite 209, Eureka, California. If formal volunteerism is not your thing, go out to Seaview on your own. Meet people. Listen. Become a witness to their life stories.
John Heckel is a long time resident of Humboldt County who has been advocating for patients at Seaview for more than three years, first as an official long-term care ombudsmen and then informally as a “friend.” He writes a monthly column on aging for the Senior News and is a recent recipient of a Ph.D. in psychology. He can be contacted at jh2@humboldt.edu.
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This article appears in Bridgeville.
What is with this guys obsession with Seaview?
The authors energies are misplaced.
I would hope that he would attempt to inspire volunteers. His latest two articles do not inspire anything but misplaced outrage.
Beautiful tribute to Antonio and all the many forgotten ones. Thank you.
I don’t know if it’s all Seaview’s fault if someone dies alone and despondent. Plenty of local seniors are in skilled nursing facilities and their own families fail to assist them, visit them, advocate for them.
The sleaze ball that owns these facilities is a real piece of work. This article keeps this issue in the news. Thanks.
I believe this is a sad commentary, as these things seem to happen more often than we would like. However, it also begs the question- if this man was your “friend”, Why did he die ” lonely and despondent”? Where are the family and friends that should be visiting? It sounds to me like you expected Seaview to take over that responsibility. I’m not defending that place or the people who run it, but a lot of families institutionalize their elders, then expect the institution to behave as something other than an institution. I’m sorry about the death of your friend, but maybe your tribute and your goodbye would have served him better if you had done it in person, instead of in print…
While I know medi-cal does not pay much for caring for these skilled patients. I know the money the facilities receive is to pay for everything including burial arrangements and notification if the person has not done so themselves. Sadly there usually isn’t enough money at the end of the month for such niceties. Medi-cal should take some of the responsibility also!
THESE so called care facilities received from medicare around 5000 pet month per resident. We looked into it. We had to pay out if pocket if my mom was to stay around 6000. This did not include medicine. It is outrageous how they treat the elderly. My mother did not go into one of these homes. We took care of her. My two sister’s my nieces , my daughter’s. It took ie. She had to stay in one temporarily due to the hospitals releasing patients that really should mot be released. Some of the staff was great. The Dr was another story. I think that author of this article is just as upset like I was . No one listens. I reported the hospital , the Dr, when my mother was there due to her not receiving all her meds. I asked to see her medical sheet to see when they had given her her medication .But they failed to have it I didn’t even realize that they Stopped my mother’s medication, my mother was the one that told me. she was on Prozac For years and failed to give that to her. THE doctor failed to order it. I filled out a formal complaint with Medicare they did research which took them six months and their answer to me was well he didn’t stop all that her medication. I think the public needs to see what really goes on in these homes who knows it may be you next.
one last note I was told by the doctor then my mother fail to thrive that’s how they categorize someone who is bedridden elderly where has a chronic illness that doesn’t get better now I’m not saying all doctors but a lot of doctors in these facilities don’t really care. I was even told by the person who took and reviewed my complaint with Medicare it happens more the Not. and she also told me everyone whether you’re in a regular hospital or one of these care facilities needs an advocate somebody to stand up for you in the with the hospital staff and doctors.
Having no former knowledge of Seaview I just happened upon this piece sort of like rounding a bend on a hike and suddenly coming upon something surprising, important and beautiful that is just the thing to stir you in a way you needed stirring. No one wants to think of their loved ones dying alone but I’ll guess most of us don’t think about it that often. If we do think about it, it might not register in the deep way that it does for those who have experienced it, as is so with many things. Many of us get tossed about in the sea of life en route to seeking a better tomorrow. When we do we may lose touch with our loved ones, our families our friends, and so we hope to find human connection and community wherever we land. Thank you for making this connection, raising awareness and stirring hope.
I meant to tap “like” on Michael Fratkin’s comments. The shading on my screen makes it appear as though I tapped dislike. Apologies if that’s what shows- it’s not intentional.
I work in the nursing homes. This obituary saddens and angers me. The author was not privvy to the extensive interventions provided to Antonio and the other residents whom he has written of in other publications because of HIPPA. The medical professionals who work in these facilities have made elder care their life’s work and are guided by codes of ethics. The work in nursing homes is very difficult and becoming more so as the population in SNfs in California is increasingly younger, more violent, homeless, drug addicted, and mentally ill. As a medical professional I consider myself an advocate for patients against bureaucracy and monied interests. We cannot provide optimal care alone. We need more eyes from families and community members in nursing homes to observe and report to us when we are failing our precious seniors. Much more worthwhile than reporting perceived fault in the newspaper would be to improve the quality of life of seniors by coming in to offer routine human contact or hosting an activities group (meditation, poker, religious). Just leave the self righteousness at home.