Let me start by saying nobody is a bigger believer in technology and innovation than I am. But just like you, average person, I sometimes sit in my aqua-bubble fallout shelter at the bottom of the ocean and wonder if we’ve gone too far. After watching the first 12 minutes of I Robot, I invested […]
Seriously?
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Tales from the CryptTok
Timestamp: Sept. 20, 2023 Location: Trinidad, CA Hey Grave Babies, it’s me, Shyla, your favorite tomb raider! I know it’s been a few weeks since I posted but I’ve been busy with a big surprise for you all! Remember how I told you St. Louis has some of the best archeo-foraging sites of all time? […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
I Love Fall and COVID is Not Ruining It, Dammit
The scent of leaves, crisp air, it’s fall — my favorite season and roughly a third of my personality. Oh, you like fall, too? That’s cute. I keep a dedicated room in my house a brisk 58 degrees with a crockpot of hot cider going 24/7 and a Bath & Body Works Pumpkin Crème Brûlée candle […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
FAQ About Your Changing Body
It’s been a challenge putting together an FAQ that works in every state and doesn’t squick out Ron DeSantis. But we can still offer vital health information for growing children while conforming to the stated values of the GOP. While tweens and teens are absolutely old enough to carry a pregnancy to term or practice […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Zoo Animal Council Meeting Minutes
On April 22, the Ferndale City Council voted against a proposed kindness resolution, the scaled back version of an earlier anti-hate resolution. Giraffe: The next item is the proposed Anti-Shit-Throwing Resolution. This is unrelated to the incident by the ice cream cart and not intended to assign blame. Its authors, some of whom reside within […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
An Invitation from All-Alpha Pack Coaching
Being an Alpha male was simpler when early Homo sapiens man threw on an animal skin, grabbed a cool club and hunted for survival. He had one skin, maybe like, two. And women responded to him — the hot ones who’d already developed two distinct eyebrows. The modern world is complicated. With limitless options, can […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Wishful Weed Strains for 2023
Weed Who Must Not Be Named. Who knew we’d need a Patronus against J.K. Rowling? Here to aid you in the defense against dark transphobes is a Potions Master’s concoction of three magical strains: TERF War, Neville Bongbottom and Strawberry Snape. Soon hateful takes, like those of a children’s author turned fascist cheerleader, will fizz […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Wytch Wellness™
Everyone wishes there was a magic potion for wellness and at Wytch Wellness™, there is! If you’re ready to commit (for eternity), we can help you transform your life, ditch stress, sleep better and feel good in your skin (or whoever’s). Our program is no fly-by-night fad, either; it’s backed up by centuries of expertise. […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Personal Rebranding for 2023
As I look back at resolutions past, I see a disheartening pattern of vows and good habits tossed aside before Valentine’s Day, along with blank journals, gym membership cards, rattling bottles of supplements and dusty self-help books. But this year will not be like previous attempts to improve my life. Rather than another shot at […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
The Elf on the Shelf is Begging You Not to Put Him Out This Year
That time of year already? Ha, seems like only yesterday you stuffed me in here with the Christmas stockings. Not that I mind! In fact, if I’m totally honest, by the end of the first week on display, I’m praying for the oblivion of the bottom of the decoration tub, buried under layers of suffocating […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
New Starbucks Holiday Drinks
With our iconic Pumpkin Spice Latte and Peppermint Mocha, Starbucks owns the holiday beverage, but you can’t rest on your laurels in this business. That means our team is constantly brainstorming new specialty beverages and cup designs. Ha! Didn’t see cup design being so controversial during the holidays, but here we are! We’ve strip-mined the […]
Posted inLetters + Opinion
Yelp Reviews of Voting
Trevor P. ★ ★ ★ Pretty disappointed by the lack of grim music, furtive shuffling and tense voice overs I was expecting after watching that voter fraud documentary my uncle sent me. It’s not that I necessarily believe the last election was rigged but, like, could it have been? If Ancient Aliens marathons have taught […]