Elder Mitchell Camper sits in his musty study room clutching his Mormon Missionary Handbook and reads aloud a few pages to his inseparable missionary companion. The wallet-sized booklet with 82 pages of small font disappears in his big hands. It’s filled with so many rules that they seem to be spilling over the binding.
The missionaries can’t roll up their sleeves and can’t wear anything but sanctioned underwear. They can’t have a “faddish” hairstyle. They can’t read any book or watch any video that hasn’t been approved by the church. They can’t join clubs, musical groups or sports teams. If they play a team sport among themselves, they can’t keep score. They can’t call home, except for Christmas and Mother’s Day. They can’t flirt, and they sure as hell heck can’t be alone with women. They’re not the kind of guys you’d want to get a beer with; they can’t drink alcohol. There’s another rule too: They can’t be without the rulebook.
As I prepare to spend a day with these ambassadors of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — the full name Mormons prefer — I try to be on my best behavior too. I tuck in my shirt and try not to curse. But I’m having a hard time at it.
Mormons have now famously conquered Broadway, talk radio and reality TV. America is having a Mormon moment. And that moment is brought to you largely by Mitt Romney, who took the stage at the Republican National Convention last week in Tampa and became the first Mormon to accept the party’s presidential nomination. Romney has been loosening his tie lately when it comes to his faith. In an effort to present a warmer version of himself, Romney recently invited reporters to church. The attention is making some Mormons nervous. As the November election nears, church followers celebrate their Jackie Robinson moment while white-knuckling Romney’s potential gaffes, afraid the words and actions of one man could come to represent the entire church.
Mormonism was literally pulled out of Joseph Smith’s hat. In 1827 Smith was a 25-year-old New Yorker who made a living using psychic powers to find treasure. According to church teachings, an angel asked him to retrieve golden plates buried in the hills of upstate New York. An unknown language was engraved on the plates, and Smith deciphered it by reading reflections in a seer stone at the bottom of his hat. Smith’s transcriptions became the Book of Mormon, and the text remains the cornerstone of the religion to this day.
Driven from state to state as the religion grew, Mormons have had an uneasy history — not just with polygamy, which the church officially abandoned more than a century ago, but with a worldview that sometimes seems locked in the 1800s. The church didn’t allow blacks into the priesthood until 1978. Women still aren’t allowed. And gays? In 2008, Mormons contributed more than $20 million to passing California’s Proposition 8, a gay marriage ban still being contested in the courts. The church was by far the biggest donor, contributing more than half of the $40 million aimed at preventing gay people from marrying. And the church’s clout is spreading worldwide. Today Mormonism is the fastest growing religion in the Western Hemisphere with more than 14 million members worldwide, and more than 6 million here in the U.S., according to the church. Globally, there are now more Mormons than Jews. And missionaries like those who roam through Arcata and Eureka help spread the word.
You probably know the Mormons as the guys walking in pairs around town in their white dress shirts and skinny ties, waving and smiling as you walk or drive by. Like the Poem Store woman, the backwards-running man, and the mustachioed accordion player, the Mormon missionaries have become small-town fixtures in their constant visibility. I’ve always wondered about that poem woman — what does motivate someone to barter with poetry she types on a street corner? — and I’ve had that same faintly voyeuristic fascination with the Mormons. So I embedded with Elder Mitchell Camper and Elder Cory Goynes for a day to see what it’s like to be a man on a mission.
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It’s 6:20 a.m. when I arrive at the missionaries’ H Street apartment in Arcata. I don’t have to check my notes to see which unit they live in because only one light shines in the complex, and there’s a picture of Jesus in the window.
The missionaries, called elders by the church, come out wearing athletic gear and running shoes. It’s time for their mandatory exercises — 30 minutes every morning, save Sunday. Elder Goynes checks his watch and sees that the minute hand points straight down. “Time to go,” he says, and we jog out into the Arcata dawn, a produce-aisle mist falling around us.
We circle the Arcata Marsh, and return to the elders’ small apartment just before 7 a.m. The place has a college-student feel, occupied by young men too frugal for matching furniture, decorated with posters tacked onto the walls. There are differences, though. The posters depict Jesus, Joseph Smith and biblical scenes, not Bob Marley. The beds have been taken out of the bedrooms and put into the living room, where the men sleep; the bedrooms have been converted into study rooms. There’s no beer in the fridge, no TV on the stand and no magazines on the counter — all are forbidden.
The elders clean up, chomp Pop-Tarts and make a church-sanctioned call on a smartphone with Jesus-themed wallpaper. They dress in their dark slacks and white shirts, complete with a black nametag on the left shirt pocket. They call this clothing the armor of God. The tops of their notorious underwear — intended to provide “protection against temptation and evil” –are visible around their necklines and biceps. The undergarments are nothing more than white boxer shorts and a separate undershirt. The elders love ties, especially Elder Camper, who has more than 50 of them dangling neatly in his closet. “It’s our only opportunity for individuality.”
At 8 a.m., they start their mandatory two hours of study. In the center of the room are two desks, pushed together and facing each other. The whiteboard on the wall lists their long-term schedule and their personal goals. Elder Goynes is striving to more effectively use Facebook to reach out to people. (Our region is one of seven missions in the world that allows missionaries to use social media.) He also wants to deliver more meaningful prayers and keep better records. Elder Camper’s goals look like a red-Sharpie haiku: Be less condemning, use less words, silence.
As always with the missionaries, they start with a prayer. The men go to their knees, fold their hands and close their eyes. Elder Goynes leads the prayer; it’s slow, rhythmic, methodical and yet improvised. It carries a lullaby tone, but its sincerity jolts me awake; he thanks his heavenly father at length for allowing him time to exercise this morning. Elder Goynes becomes silent, and in unison they say, “We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen,” as they always do when they end a prayer.
After the prayer, the two sit in silence reading the Book of Mormon, the King James Bible and lessons from their teaching manual, Preach My Gospel. I sit in silence, studying their faces.
Elder Camper is a baby faced 19-year-old from St. Michaels, Md., a small and wealthy town near Chesapeake Bay. He puts product in his well-trimmed, brown hair and styles it ever so slightly in a fauxhawk. Elder Camper played baseball in high school and his muscular physique shows his athleticism. He sprays on Calvin Klein cologne, which somehow smells imprudent on a man with so many personal restrictions.
After graduating high school, Elder Camper went on a weeklong party with friends who binged on alcohol and drugs. He wanted something more meaningful for himself, so he signed-up for a mission, becoming the first missionary from his area in decades.
His Mom didn’t pressure him into going, she told me later on the phone. She had thought he’d stay home and attend the police academy he’d enrolled in. She exchanges emails with him every Monday, the only day missionaries are allowed to send emails home. “It’s been a lot easier than I thought. I miss him incredibly, but I have such a peace about what he’s doing. He seems so happy and that makes me happy. It takes away the worry of having a teenager across the country.” Still, she’s afraid of California’s earthquakes.
Elder Goynes is a rosy-cheeked 23-year-old from Baton Rouge, La. He puts a little product in his hair too, to tame his spiky crew cut. He hides his muscularity well, but it’s there. He’s the more extroverted of the two, and always seems to be talking without hogging the conversation. He tells me that he’s strayed from the path in his life, but that’s hard for me to believe that from a man who asks every person he meets, “How can I help you today?”
Before becoming a missionary, Elder Goynes drove Peterbilt trucks around the country, dropping them off to new buyers. Impressed by his hard work ethic, the company president asked him to be part owner. But God called him on this mission instead.
The silence lasts for an hour — or almost an hour — when Elder Camper asks his companion if he’s ready. “We still have four minutes,” replies Elder Goynes.
At exactly 9 a.m. Elders Camper and Goynes join two other missionary roommates in the hallway. They stand side by side, staring at the sheet music tacked to the wall. They briefly hum the rhythm of the song, then sing in surprising harmony: “Two thousand stripling warriors, young men of pow’r and might. Responded to the battle cry. O who will stand and fight? Behold, our God is with us!” The men sing slowly, in low voices that blend with a haunting persistence.
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For young Mormon men, going on a mission is a right of passage, but not required. At 19, Romney spent 30 months in France as a missionary and converted 10 to 20 people to the LDS Church, by his own estimation. Convincing the wine-loving French to join a religion that prohibits alcohol might be almost as hard as winning 270 electoral votes. In 2007, approximately 30 percent of all 19-year-old LDS men became Mormon missionaries; from LDS families that are active in the church, approximately 80 to 90 percent of young men served, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. The missionary men always serve with a companion; they are never to be farther than shouting distance apart. The church has 55,000 missionaries worldwide today, including about 7,000 women, referred to as “sisters.”
Hopeful missionaries must pass a test of worthiness. If you’ve had a child out of wedlock, a homosexual experience or committed a serious crime, you’re not worthy, according to the LDS Church. The missionaries are typically 19 to 26 years old, but there are senior and married couple missionaries too. After completing a six week training program, they are assigned to a region typically far away from home, and spend two years dedicating their lives to bringing people to God.
The missionaries have to be frugal. They don’t get paid — in fact, they pay the church to go on a mission. Each missionary, often with the help of relatives, must pay $400 a month or almost $10,000 over two years. That money goes into a general church fund, which pays for each missionary’s total living expenses and helps offset the costs for missionaries serving abroad. The church provides housing and a shared car, and gives each missionary $130 a month for food and most other living expenses.
Elders Camper and Goynes have been in Arcata for a month now. They love the natural beauty of the place, they say, but they love the people here even more. They’re serving in the Santa Rosa Mission, which stretches along the coast from Vallejo to Crescent City, and is importuned by 180 missionaries, including 16 in Humboldt County. For two years these elders will move around the region, typically assigned to new companions and new service areas every three to six months. Mission President Rene Alba, an unpaid clergyman who will serve his position for three years, said shuffling the missionaries around prevents them from becoming too “chummy” with the community and losing focus.
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After their hour of silent study and their brief, haunting song, the companions start their second, more talkative study session, that always begins by reading aloud five pages from their Missionary Handbook. Elder Goynes has five marks in his handbook, one for each time he’s read through it. They read passages from the King James Bible and the Book of Mormon out loud to each other. Then they discuss their itinerary for the day, planning whom to visit and how to teach them. Each visit is custom tailored. “He’s got a short attention span, so don’t go on too long with the Joseph Smith lesson. Let’s stick to authority,” Elder Camper tells his companion.
We’re running late when we leave the apartment at 10:46 a.m. Elder Goynes climbs into the driver seat of the church’s silver Dodge Caravan. (The church also provides gas money.) A few boxes of the Book of Mormon and religious pamphlets sit in the trunk. Elder Camper stands behind the van and watches Elder Goynes back out. It’s another rule; one companion always stands outside when the car is in reverse. If Elder Camper were backing out in a desert and the nearest obstacle was 20 miles away, Elder Camper would still get out and watch him. We say a prayer and drive off, listening to a CD of a church leader speaking on the importance of missionary work. “Such a good line,” Elder Goynes exclaims every other minute, after a particular passage resonates with him.
We arrive at an apartment complex near Health Sport in Arcata. Before we get out, we say a prayer and grab a few extra copies of the Book of Mormon. A little optimistic, I think. Elder Goynes smiles and waves at every passing car. We stop and chat with a few passersby. Sometimes the conversations flow easily, but others carry awkward silences with a clear subtext: Please stop bothering me now. They ask every person they encounter the same question, “Is there anything we can do right now to help you, anything at all?” Yesterday a college student took them up on their offer, and the elders spent the afternoon helping her move furniture into her new house.
We walk around the back of the apartment complex when a car cruises by and the driver lifts a hand to wave back at Elder Goynes. “They’re always so nice in their cars,” he says.
The elders spot a young woman smoking a cigarette on her second-story balcony. It’s a sort of Romeo and Juliet scene gone wrong. The Elders profess their love of God, but the young woman fails to return it.
“I’m spiritual, not religious,” she tells them.
“We hear that a lot,” say the missionaries.
“Why do you go to people? Why not let them come to you?” she asks in a stern voice. “Christ tells us to go everywhere,” replies Elder Goynes.
The missionaries tell her they want to bring happiness into her life with the Book of Mormon. She says being miserable helps her art. Her roommate comes out and tells them very politely that he’s an atheist, that the universe is an accident, just a bunch of chemicals in our brain, and we’re all taking it way too seriously. The young woman chimes in, “Hey, I got a book for you to read!”
“Oh yeah, what’s it called?”
“Cruddy, it’s a graphic novel by Lynda Berry and it’s about murder and drugs.” she says tauntingly.
The elders write down the name of the author in their notebook and agree that the next time they’re in the library they will try to check it out. The elders make a deal. They’ll read her book if they can come up and give her the Book of Mormon. Even though the church normally regulates their reading, this departure is allowed to save a soul. She agrees. There’s a feeling of truce when they meet at the door. (Because the church regulates their reading, they said later, they actually will not be allowed to read Cruddy until their mission ends.)
Back in the van, the elders pray for that woman on the balcony. Not that she finds the Book of Mormon to be true, although that would be nice, but that she finds happiness and that she may never be lonely. “How did we do?” they ask me. “You did about as good as you could,” I answer honestly.
Days later I called the young woman, Bryn Robertson, and asked about her encounter with the Mormons. “I don’t really like it when I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested and people persist. Then it feels intrusive,” she said, adding that she does try to keep an open mind to all beliefs. “I felt like in the beginning it was sincere. It switched halfway through and felt superficial. Then they spoke their agenda.” The Book of Mormon is still on her desk, unopened. She means to look at it eventually, just to stay open minded.
We forge on, door after door, among the hostile and the curious, before the elders lunch at their apartment. They insist on fixing me a chicken pot pie. “They’re really good and they’re like a dollar at the store,” says Elder Camper, glad for such finds on a tight missionary budget. It’s 1:45 p.m. and we have to be in Eureka in 15 minutes. Elder Camper stands behind the car and chaperones Elder Goynes as he backs out. We say a prayer and take the 101 south.
“Are there any parts of your faith that you don’t agree with?” I ask the elders.
The car is silent in contemplation until Elder Goynes lets out a sigh and says, “I’d have to think about it for a while. Let me get back to you on that one.” I was surprised. I figured everyone saw cracks in their religion. So I pressed it further. “What about gay marriage?”
“Elder Camper and I have both have friends back home that are gay. People think we hate gay people, but that’s not true at all,” says Elder Goynes. “The church is against it, but we accept all people and invite them to church.” Elder Camper tells me that in his last transfer in San Rafael he helped baptize a woman who used to be a lesbian, until she found Mormonism. Days later, after thinking it over, the elders tell me they don’t disagree with any part of Mormonism. They’re not cafeteria Christians, picking and choosing what they do and don’t like. They consume their faith whole.
At 2 p.m. we meet with 10 other missionaries to inundate a small area with elders and sisters — they call it a blitz. The sisters hand each companion an index card with a list of names and addresses to visit. These are people who haven’t been active in the church for a while or maybe showed an interest recently.
We get in the car, pray and drive to the first address on the list. Elder Goynes knocks on the door. “Friends knock, strangers ring,” he says. No answer. We hear the TV blasting next door and Elder Goynes takes the opportunity to try the neighbor too.
A fat man with a scruffy beard opens the door. He takes one look at us and says, “I can’t help you.” SLAM!
The elders experience this every day. They got 10 antagonistic people in a row yesterday, but the day before that, they had a string of people receptive to their message. A couple weeks ago, two men answered the door naked.
“Doesn’t that shit stuff piss make you mad?” I ask the elders. “How do you guys deal with that?”
Elder Goynes would later show me a Bible verse, Luke 6:23: “Blessed are you, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake.”
We approach a man gardening in front of his beautifully refurbished Victorian home. “How ya doing today sir? Is there anything we can help you with right now?” Elder Camper asks. The man tells us to leave without even a glance in our direction. “Not here fellas; you gotta move on. Move along now.”
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From the beginning, Mormons faced distaste and ridicule from mainstream America. After the church was formed in the early 19th century, Smith moved his reformed Christianity and its followers from state to state, essentially being evicted by governments that detested the religion’s belief in polygamy.
The church eventually settled in what was then Utah Territory, where it’s still headquartered today. The LDS Church abolished plural marriage in 1890 after the federal government seized its assets. There is still a tiny Mormon Fundamentalist church that practices polygamy, but the LDS Church treats it like a crazy uncle, excommunicating its followers.
Over time, stressing hard work and an all-embracing safety net for fellow church members, the church became what it is today — wealthy, established and largely Republican. Mormons have climbed political ranks, with 15 church members currently serving in Congress, including Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Although Reid is a Democrat, almost 80 percent of LDS Church members are Republican, according to Bob Rees, a Berkeley theology professor and practicing Mormon. When Rees teaches comparative religions, he reminds students that all faiths have practices or beliefs that seem odd to outsiders, but prejudice against Mormons is disproportionate, one of the remaining acceptable prejudices in American culture.
The church is also resolutely businesslike. In a 2011 cover story, Newsweek magazine compared the LDS church to “a sanctified multinational corporation — the General Electric of American religion … with an estimated net worth of $30 billion.” Mormons are taught to give the church 10 percent of their income. Romney has implied that this tithing is part of why he should not release more tax returns. “Our church doesn’t publish how much people have given,” Romney told Parade magazine. “This is done entirely privately. … It’s a very personal thing between ourselves and our commitment to our God and to our church.”
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After the Eureka blitz, we pray and drive to the Eureka church for a baptism. It’s 40 years old, small and made of wood that blends in with the surrounding woodland beside St. Joseph Hospital. A couple dozen people meet in a classroom-sized room with fluorescent lighting and metal folding chairs. The woman getting baptized is in her mid-30s and wears a body-hugging dress, a dress so white it almost glows. Add a train to this floor-length gown and it would evoke a wedding. We pray and sing hymn number 157, “We Are Not Ashamed to Own Our Lord.” The Eureka sister missionaries then sing a duet in perfect pitch, so perfect that tears glisten in the eyes of the people sitting next to me.
After a half hour or so of singing and praying, we all cram into a small room next door, with a blue-tiled basin called the baptismal font. A large mirror hangs above so friends and family can see from every angle. The woman plugs her nose and Elder Nathan Tubbs, a missionary dressed in a white robe, guides her head back and submerges her fully, then brings her back up. The room is silent. Only the water dripping off her body into the pool makes a noise. Two men quickly step in and close doors in front of the font, as if to say, “‘Nothing to see here, folks, move along.” The whole thing lasts maybe a minute. I nearly bring my hands together to clap — it feels like an applause moment, but everyone stands quiet. The group migrates back to the original room to sing hymn number 227, “There is Sunshine in My Soul Today.” The newly minted Mormon comes in midway through the song, her hair still wet and up in a bun. Again I want to clap or whisper congratulations or offer a hug. But the service goes on.
We leave the church at 7:19 p.m. and hit the streets again to spread the word of Jesus Christ. I’m constantly yawning, while the elders seem to have eternal energy. More knocks yield nothing. More doors slam. We do this for another hour and a half before calling it a night. The elders typically return home at 9 p.m. They’ll journal for an hour, prepare plans for the following day, pray, and then it’s lights out at 10:30 p.m. Before leaving the van, Elder Goynes recites the mileage we covered today and Elder Camper records it in a notebook — mileage limitations are another rule.
It’s time for me to depart. We gather in a circle in their apartment, bow our heads and Elder Camper leads us in prayer. “O dear heavenly father, help Scottie to find the Book of Mormon to be true,” he says. Hearing my name shocks me. But then he asks his savior to help me write an awesome story with a clear head. I appreciate the gesture and I sure as hell heck need all the help I can get.
I step outside into the cool, Arcata air and immediately untuck my shirt — it feels vaguely sinful. I hop onto my bike and head straight to Redwood Curtain to meet a friend and a former professor for a much needed beer or three. The bar brings sunshine to my soul. I tell a joke or two with vulgar punch lines. I’m happy to stop censoring the occasional curse word. I swig my goblet of duppel and tell my drinking partners, “I met two really nice guys today.” I am awed by their niceness, their rules, their implacable lives. Then I order another round.
This article appears in The Mormon Moment.
Making this the cover story during Pride Week is a little bit of a slap in the face to the LGBTQ community; don’t you think NCJ?
This will be the first time I have ever commented on line, ever! Having said that, I just finished reading the article. Without going into details about my own spiritual path, etc., I have to say there are a few mistakes in your writing. In addition, while you were probably trying to be humorous, the last paragraph of your article was disappointing. It is typical of comments of those who do not understand not only lifestyle or a religion, but most things in life they are uncomfortable with. It would have been better for you to leave it with “I met two really nice guys today.” Religion, just like sex and politics, is very personal.
As a former mormon missionary myself, I must admit that your article made my eyes water a little bit at times. It brought back a lot of memories. I forgot how much we prayed on the mission. You talked about how many rules that missionaries have and it’s true, but what’s amazing is that even with all those rules, I can’t remember having more fun in all my life than the 2 years on my mission.
With all the media attention on Mormonism, I’d suggest to anyone that they find a fellow Mormon and ask them questions about what we believe. I’m a Mormon and am always happy to answer sincere questions about my faith. (Twitter: @jason_allred)
Being a Mormon has brought me closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ. It has also helped me develop a love for others. I am grateful to have had a spiritual witness from God that what I believe is true.
Okay Jason. Please tell me what you believe about the planet (or is it a star?) described in the Mormon Book of Abraham as being nearest the place God resides. What is the significance of Kolob? Do you believe God resides in a physical location in our universe (meaning, if we had the time and technology, a spaceship could travel to be in the presence of God)?
Also, are you familiar with Joseph Smith’s criminal history? How do you square it with what Smith had to say about religion?
I know what Wikipedia has to say about these things, but I’m curious how a Mormon interprets stuff like this on a personal level.
So, all the Mormons really want to do is be polite, have all the babies they possibly can, overpopulate and convert the world? (Oh, and you can only read the books that they let you read. Hmm. O.K…..)
Gee, sounds innocent enough.
Really, I wouldn’t be too worried unless people became insane enough to, oh I don’t know, run one of them for President of the United States or something…………
Hey! You know who else was a really polite person?
Ted Bundy.
too long, didn’t read version:
These guys are so polite, who cares about all the disgusting bigotry they spew?
Oh, and one last thing…. @jason_allred is a complete sockpuppet (or spam account). A quick google search reveals that “he” posts the same comment on multiple news sites whenever Romney or Mormonism is mentioned in the headline.
@okay, Mormons believe that Jesus was the only begotten Son of God, and had a physical body, and was resurrected and has a glorified body of flesh and bones today. He has a physical location. We don’t understand all the laws of the universe, so many of these thing seem miraculous.
You could just as easily ask where heaven exists.
As for Joseph Smith, people often confuse accusations with convictions. Do you believe that the accused is innocent before being proven guilty? There are a lot of critics, you get to decide if you believe them. I have found them to be unreliable witnesses.
It always surprise me to read how I am so hateful, and the odd things I never knew I believed. Ii is always second or third hand accounts. We are not allowed to speak for ourselves without being discounted.
For this reason, I appreciated the fairness of this article, and the time and energy that went into its production. Kudos to a true journalist.
@Okay, Kolob is mentioned in the Book of Abraham, but there really hasn’t been much revealed about it for it to hold any significance in our doctrine. We believe that God has a body of flesh and bones, while His presence is radiated through the universe through the Holy Ghost. We believe that Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God who suffered, died and was resurrected so that we can be saved and return to live with God.
Yes, Joseph Smith was tried in court for several issues by his enemies. However, he was never found guilty of any crime. The Apostle Paul was also tried in courts. Even the Savior Jesus Christ was accused of crimes and tried before men. There will always be opposition.
@cyberpohleeze I’m definitely not a sock puppet or spam account. My goal is simply to provide a source of answers about my beliefs to those with sincere questions.
Wait, so you accept that the planet Kolob marks the physical location of God in the universe, but Kolob doesn’t “hold any significance in our doctrine”??? If I believed God was manifest in physical form in a specific location in the universe, I’d be lobbying to spend a little of the untold billions of dollars my church has to build radio and optical telescopes to begin searching for the exact coordinates of Heaven. What better, faster way to convert every single human on Earth to my belief system than to demonstrate, on a scientific basis, proof of God?
Simply seeing God does not result in conversion. People rejected Christ when He lived here on earth. We believe that it is faith in Christ that is necessary.
Here’s a relevant quote from the Book of Mormon: “faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” (Alma 32:21)
Please also note that my invitation is for those who sincerely want to understand what I believe, not an invitation for mocking what I believe. I’d be happy to answer any sincere questions you might have.
Fuck off, bigot.
I went on a mission back in the eighties and this article is pretty much correct. We could keep score in sports events though so that part seemed wrong. Things might have changed.
I left the Mormon Church in the nineties. A lot of things contributed to my leaving but one was learning in psyche classes about mind control techniques. They read EXACTLY like the mission rule handbook. Cut people off from friends and family, restrict reading materials to only sources accepted by leadership, cut them off from the opposite sex, cut them off from every aspect of their former life like music, swimming, dancing, and on and on. A missionary lives in a box that controls his/her thinking. The result is that for a while after returning you talk and think a little like a robot. Jason Alred is a case in point. He is a parrot.
I had days and days of trying to teach completely apathetic people a concept I figured was the most important thing in the whole world. I had some good times on my mission. The camaraderie and feelings of inclusiveness were part of the process forming missionaries into future church leaders and get the missionary to believe some REALLY absurd things. Mormons really believe that it matters what you wear under your clothes and that there are old men in Utah that talk to God and God tells them to have members pay money to persecute homosexuals. God told the old men that you can’t watch your child get married if you don’t pay 10% of your income. You must be a full tithe payer to enter the temple.
Yet my mission wasn’t near as weird as the temple ceremony where they ceremoniously explained to me what the underwear mean of the funny baker’s hat and sash you wear in there. The words “magic underwear” are accurate sort of but they are a gross oversimplification of a complex and bizarre thinking. You can google Mormon temple endowment ceremony and watch the whole thing on youtube if that sort of thing interests you. The Mormon Church is NOT happy that people can do that by the way.
Kolob is a derivative of an ancient Arabic word QLB, meaning “center” or “heart.” Each letter, by itself, also has a specific meaning centered around the cosmos, around star systems. Knowing that God resides at the center, or heart, of the universe doesn’t sound quite so strange now that you know this, does it? A little learning is a wonderful thing!
In all is the One,
seek within and discover that all is YOU.
http://www.wopg.org
Joseph Smith was a grifter who discovered the ultimate swindle.
http://youtu.be/Oji3Ek7fjtY
Actually LDS belief does not say that God is on the planet Kolob but rather that Kolob is a star near to where God is. Ancient Semitic documents, not yet discovered in Joseph Smith’s day, mention the star Kolob as the central or preeminent star and give it meanings similar to the meanings Joseph Smith gave. The information was hot available in Joseph Smith’s day. How did Joseph get it right? And how about all the other many things he got right? Wow!
The article says that Joseph Smith “made a living using psychic powers.” Where’s the historic documentation for that?
Josiah Stoal thought that there was an old Spanish silver mine in the vicinity and he employed Joseph Smith and several others to help him look for it. Joseph Smith needed the employment and took the job but thought that Josiah was wasting his time. Joseph eventually talked Josiah out of looking for it.
Joseph was asked “Was not Joseph Smith a money digger?:”
Joseph’s reply: “Yes, but it was never a very profitable job for him, as he only got fourteen dollars a month for it.”
—Joseph’s tongue-in-cheek response to one of a list of questions that were asked of him during a visit at Elder Cahoon’s home. (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 120; History of the Church 3:29; Discourses of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 271)
In the young Joseph Smith’s time and place, “money digging” was a popular, and sometimes respected activity. When Joseph was 16, the Palmyra Herald printed such remarks as:
• “digging for money hid in the earth is a very common thing and in this state it is even considered as honorable and profitable employment”
• “One gentleman…digging…ten to twelve years, found a sufficient quantity of money to build him a commodious house.
• “another…dug up…fifty thousand dollars!” (Palmyra Herald (24 July 1822); cited in Russell Anderson, “The 1826 Trial of Joseph Smith,” (2002 FAIR Conference presentation.))
Some critics of Joseph Smith charge that Joseph Smith was involved in occult practices of folk magic, divining, and using peep stones. It is common for people to think that “your religion is superstition but my belief in the suplernatural is reasonable.”
Actually, Christian scripture has been created in a very similar way. Throughout the Bible there are various ways in which God gave revelation to prophets. These range from visions, angels, hearing the voice of God, God speaking from a burning bush, seeing writing on a wall, writing on a tablet, casting lots, magic rods, magic cups, dreams, and hearing the voice of his Spirit in the heart and mind. I think God can decide for Himself how he wishes to give a prophet a revelation or a translation. Who is man that he should tell God how He can or can’t give a translation?
Nevertheless, the method in which Joseph Smith was given the text of the Book of Mormon, by the gift and power of God and not by man’s learning, is amazingly similar to other Biblical accounts of God giving written material to prophets.
For example, Daniel’s experience of seeing God’s writing on the wall is similar to Joseph Smiths experience of seeing God’s writing on a stone:
“In the same hour came forth fingers of a man’s hand, and wrote over against the candlestick upon the plaster of the wall of the king’s palace: and the king saw the part of the hand that wrote.” (Daniel 5:5)
Moses struck a rock and water flowed out of it. Moses struck the ground and the Red Sea parted.
The Old Testament Joseph had a silver cup which he used to divine (Genesis 44:2, 5).
We read, for instance, that Aaron had a magical rod (Exodus 7:9-12). Jacob also used magical rods to produce speckled offspring from Laban’s cattle (Genesis 30:37-39). We read that a priest could tell if a woman had committed adultery by seeing if her thigh swelled after drinking a special potion (Numbers 5: 11-13, 21)
The prophecy of John the Revelator, wherein he said that some would have a white stone which would have writing on it is amazingly similar to what actually happened to Joseph Smith:
“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.” (Revelations 2:17)
Note that John tells us that “no man knoweth” about the stone and the writing “saving he that receiveth it.” So, of course, critics will doubt and mock.
And, of course, we have what is probably the best known example of a prophet receiving writing from God on a stone, that of Moses:
“And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.”(Exodus 31:18) And also:“And the Lord delivered unto me two tables of stone written with the finger of God; and on them was written according to all the words, which the Lord spake with you in the mount out of the midst of the fire in the day of the assembly.” (Deuteronomy 9:10)
Here, God writes words on a stone tablet, very similar to words being written on the stone that Joseph used.
God can give revelation to a prophet in whatever manner He chooses. And He did use a variety of methods, some of which would look like folk magic to us today.
The article says “The church was by far the biggest donor, contributing more than half of the $40 million aimed at preventing gay people from marrying.”
There is no citation given.
The value of the Church’s in-kind (non-monetary) contribution is less than one half of one percent of the total funds (approximately $40 million) raised for the “Yes on 8” campaign. The Church did not make any cash contribution other than an overlooked $5,539.
Prop 8 was placed on the California ballot by Californians who submitted 1,120,801 signatures. They only needed 694,354. The LDS church was not involved in placing the measure on the ballot. (Secretary of State Debra Bowen Certifies Eighth Measure for November 4, 2008, General Election (PDF). California Secretary of State.)
After the measure was placed on the ballot the LDS church was approached in June 2008 by letter from San Franciso Catthoilic Archbishop George Niederaurer to join a coalition of religions to promote the proposition. (Matthai Kuruvila, “Catholics, Mormons allied to pass Prop. 8”, San Francisco Chronicle (Nov. 10, 2008))
The coalition included Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims, and Latter-day Saints
Records filed with the State of California indicate that the Church did not make any contributions with the exception of an “in kind” contribution (non monetary) for some travel expenses and an overlooked $5,539.- a minuscule amount compared to the nearly $40,000,000 donated in support of Prop 8. All other LDS-related money was contributed by Church members individually, not by the Church.
Perhaps the article was referring to the private donations of Mormons. However, the way it is worded makes it sound like the Church itself donated the money. Not so:
Estimates of monies donated to the “Yes on 8” campaign by LDS Church members, range from $14 to $20 million. No firm figures are available because the State of California does not request or record the religion of donors.
Almost all monetary donations came from individual Church members, who decided if and how much they would contribute. The Church did, however, make several in-kind donations, as reported by the California Secretary of State’s website (last accessed January 31, 2009). There are a number of donations by the Church in the report, all non-monetary:
Contributions may be verified in the California Secretary of State California Filings Searchable Database, although the Church has pointed out that not all contributions have yet been entered in the database by the State of California.
Prop 8 passed 52% to 48% or 7,001,084 to 6,401,482. Latter-day Saints constitute less than 2% of the population of California and less than 5% of the yes vote. There are about 800,000 LDS in California out of about 34 million California residents.
Other groups played a major role in the bill’s passage:
Self-identifying Catholics and Protestants both went around 65-35 for the amendment.
White evangelicals going 81-19.
The net African-American vote (70-30) accounts a large part of the victory margin..
The net Latino vote at 53-47 contributed another 25% to the victory margin.
Senior citizens supported the measure at 61-39 while voters under 30 opposed it 39-61.
Okay says “Also, are you familiar with Joseph Smith’s criminal history?”
No because there wasn’t one.
That’s like asking: Are you familiar with the criminal history of Jesus Christ and his Apostles? He was convicted and sentenced to death you know. And his Apostles were imprisoned multiple times and most of them were eventually caught and put to death. What a horrible bunch of criminals.
Most Christians, and even reasonable historians, would recognize that the above paragraph is a gross misrepresentation of what really happened. But that’s exactly the kind of misrepresentation of Mormonism that’s going on when people ask questions like “Are you familiar with Joseph Smith’s criminal history?”
The enemies of Joseph charged him with fraud in various property conveyances, mostly in behalf of the Church. A succession of court proceedings that extended for nearly a decade examined these claims in meticulous detail. Finally, in 1852, long after the Saints’ exodus from Illinois (so there was no conceivable political or other cause for anyone to favor the Prophet), a federal judge concluded this litigation with a decree that found no fraud or other moral impropriety by the Prophet. (See Dallin H. Oaks and Joseph I. Bentley, “Joseph Smith and Legal Process: In the Wake of the Steamboat Nauvoo,” BYU Law Review [1976]: 735.)
Joseph’s appearance before the judge in 1826 was not a trial, it was a hearing. No verdict was rendered upon Joseph; he was simply charged for court costs and the case was not pursued further. The evidence available suggest that the judge found that there were no grounds for going forward with a trial and Joseph was aquitted. Joseph was never convicted of any crime. The critics of the LDS church are not forthcoming with this important detail. Instead they imply, or even lie, saying that Joseph was convicted. He was not!
The critics also conveniently neglect to mention that the 1826 hearing was about Joseph’s being employed by Josiah Stowell to look for an old Spanish silver mine. Josiah Stowell testified FOR Joseph as a defense witness at this hearing, and did not believe that Joseph had defrauded him at all. Stowell testified of Joseph’s claims, “Do I believe it? No, it is not a matter of belief: I positively know it [Joseph’s claims] to be true.” The charges were brought by Stowell’s family members, who appear to have been worried that Josiah would accept Joseph’s religious claims. Stowell himself joined the Church founded by Joseph and remained a faithful member to the day of his death.
In the three trials of Joseph in South Bainbridge, New York (now known on the map as Afton) and Colesville, the prophet from Palmyra was acquitted from lack of evidence. But “historian” (I use the term loosely) Fawn Brodie asserts, without any historic evidence, that the judge let him go because he was a minor and the judge felt sorry for him.
Why does not Brodie mention that non-Mormon John Reid had this to say about it. “I was called to defend Joseph but declined because I was not a sophisticated lawyer as was the accusing prosecution’s lawyer. But I knew Joseph and I knew that his character was irreproachable; he was well known for truth and uprightness; spoken of as a young man of intelligence and good morals, expressing an anxious desire to know the will of God.” He was an instrument “in the hands of God to do a good work, I knew not what.” (History of Church, V1:94, footnotes by B. H. Roberts)
But then non-Mormon John Reid said he was called in the night to defend Joseph…”a peculiar impression struck my mind that I must go and defend him…I did not know what it meant but thought I must go and clear the Lord’s anointed.”
Reid said not one spot or blemish was proven against Joseph and he won an acquittal on all charges. Afterward, a swarm of onlookers sought to do Joseph harm but Reid said some divine source protected him and he walked unharmed through the mob. I take no glory to myself for the acquittal. it was the Lord’s work and marvelous in our eyes.”
Okay suggests that if Mormons know where God lives they should “build radio and optical telescopes to begin searching for the exact coordinates of Heaven.”
Is Okay being funny? If so, I can appreciate a joke.
But seriously knowing of the existence of Kolob is not the same as knowing the location of Kolob.
And it’s a lot cheaper just to listen to what God says through his prophets. I can’t afford all that equipment.
Carl says “you can’t watch your child get married if you don’t pay 10% of your income. You must be a full tithe payer to enter the temple.”
Yes, And you can’t enter heaven unless you don’t commit adultery, don’t fornicate, don’t lie (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
Jesus taught that we will abide in His love “If ye keep my commandments.” (John 15:10; see also John 14:15,21,23; See also John’s teaching: 1 John 2;3-4.).
The Savior some of the commandments we must keep to “have treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21; Luke 18:20-22).
Darn those requirements!!!!
Latter-day Saints invite all people to qualify themselves to come to the Temple and receive instruction. It is not intended that anyone be left out. However, as taught by the Bible prophets, the early Christians, and Jesus Himself, sacred things are shared only when people are prepared for it. The responsibility to prepare and become qualified rests on each individual. If any do not come it is because they exclude themselves and not because they are not invited. It seems so ironic to me that some people complain about being left out when, all along, we have been pleading with them to come, qualify themselves, and join with us.
I should clarify that, of course, one can have made some of these mistakes and then repent of them. But those who continue unrepentant of wrong lifestyles will be in trouble.
“Ancient Semitic documents, not yet discovered in Joseph Smith’s day,… give it meanings similar to the meanings Joseph Smith gave.”
Why am I not convinced by such compelling evidence?
This article is a new low for the NCJ, shame on the writer, I thought we respected different religions in the country not attacked them.
Excellent article.
For me, the most interesting part was about how the church gave up on polygamy when the federal government threatened to seize its assets.
“Yes, yes, everything we believe is the God’s truth and nothing but the truth, but God updates his truth as necessary when the federal government seizes your assets.” Sure, right. God’s flexible when it comes to your assets.
God is, apparently, sensitive to changing attitudes. When rank racism was no longer accepted in American culture, god “spoke” to the Mormon prophet and changed the church’s treatment of black people.
We can only hope that god will talk with the Prophet sooner than later about the church’s support for anti-gay causes.
“how can I help you?”
Mitt’s way of helping people is to close down very profitable industries, outsourcing jobs overseas, and firing thousands of workers who lose their health care insurance and homes.
Oh yeah and they also baptize murdered Jewish Holocaust victims.
Those homophobic, racist, antisemites
should take their dog and pony show the hell out of Humboldt.
God works in mysterious ways, Joel.
Sometimes he hires lawyers and removes the tax deductions from religions that decide to work as political outfits.
“I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others.” –Thomas Jefferson
leave those young people alone………they don’t reek of marijuana and have always been very friendly to me …………..sometimes they believe in nonsensical ideas that make me laugh.
They are young people exercising their gray matter repetitively. If I had such young cute bodies I would be not only homophobic………phobic completely of people devouring my cute bum and body parts ravenously with their hungry eyes. I would be staring into a book for an hour as well….more likely facebook. Also their parents are happy as they are not out having STDs their 1st time away from mommy, daddy,little baby brother, sissy and other bunny rabbids.
Am I the only one who finds it quite amusing that I am reading an article on Mormonism while an advertisement for the Tip-Top club resides next to it, beckoning all to partake in their pagan pleasures?
Warning this is a LIVE page…..constantly changing………http://youtu.be/GbL3optH994
Smith was an occultists, mason, and familiar with jewish mysticism thru the Kabbalh-many of his “revelations” were simply lifted from those sources and written in a pathetic psuedo old english style mimicking the King James version of the bible.
Smith was also an advocate of free love, smoking, drinking, and many other activities now frowned upon by the Brigham Young cultists
“Yes, Joseph Smith was tried in court for several issues by his enemies. However, he was never found guilty of any crime. ”
Nonsense.
Original court documents of conviction for fraud were discovered just a few years ago and copies are avaialble online, verified by the court clerk of THAT county.
Instead of reading the idiotic and hallucinatory crap of the mormon church, spend some time investigating it’s invlovement in welfare fraud, sheltering polygamists, and teaching it’s true believers that lieing for the cause is accpetable.
Google “meadow mountain massacre”.
It’s disingenuous of Elder So and So to tell that girl he would read her book if she read his. He has no intention of reading her book, and in fact, if the mission president found it while searching their room for contraband (Which yes they do) and found such a book he’d be in trouble.
Yes more man…the seed of deception in the Elder was planted in his brain like my catholiscm at too early an age………………like familial conjunctivitis.
Any chance of a free annual gas card for my family if I convert during election year? just a thought
Scottie … thank you for such a wonderful article, I feel most of those that posted comments prehaps missed the over riding point of your message. You as an outsider looking in … saw the good and kindness in the life of others not of your own beliefs. I am amazed that some few people in this world can’t except the goodness in other no matter their race, religion, or other differences. I know I seek out that goodness in many friends and acquaintance and try to share a smile or words of kindness and not judgemental criticsisum.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.. is the true religion we all can easily follow no matter to what creed we hold. Again, I am truly greatfull for your open-minded viewpoint into something different from your own.
By the way, I am Elder Goynes’ father and have many friends like you that I am blessed with, being raised in the south (not Utah) my eclectic set of friends of all walks of life … straight or gay, old or young, of any race or religion find caring for others the most important part of Jesus Christ Teachings.
No matter how many friends you have, all religions say that God frowns on anal sex………………thus projecting the Godhead to be from our lowly human evolved species and striving for the blue skies and WHITE clouds of not knowing the SELF that is all One.
Very interesting article and I thought it was well written. I am agnostic by I am also non-judgmental. I respect these two men for sacrificing two years of their prime to serve their church. When I was a kid my mother invited two Mormon missionaries to spend an hour or two over two nights teaching me and my sister about their religion. This was the era of film strips which were used as visual aids. I don’t remember much about their discussions but I remember the cartoon pictures depicting the history of their church and the journey that ended in the arid lands of Utah. I’ll never become a Mormon and their lifestyle is too strict for my approach to living life but I respect their freedom of religion. One thing I have noticed over the years, Mormon women all seem to be quite attractive.
In unison they say “We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen,” as they always do when they end a prayer.
No, silly. Your memory is off on some details – I’m sure you were taking a lot of things in. I’ve been praying with family, friends on my mission, in church, and everywhere else, and in a group prayer, it goes like this (should be familiar to other Christians): Only one person offers the prayer. The person will generally conclude a prayer by saying “in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” to which anyone else in the prayer would echo “Amen” to indicate their agreement with the prayer that’s been offered.
Your wording in the article made it sound so robotic at the end. However, your truer statement was the part about it being improvised. We don’t do scripted prayers (try to avoid being thoughtlessly repetitious). We address God, we think, we thank, we ask, we listen, and we close in the name of our Savior, Christ. Not necessarily in that exact order.
Prayer for us is a conversation. We believe God knows and answers our prayers. I’ve had my own answers come many times and in a variety of ways mostly always simple and peaceful, not loud and spectacular. No burning bush. Part of it is just listening – we put the time into praying, but it’s a two way conversation.
You know, the whole perception that the church is “rigid” is really interesting. I guess I look at people in general and think many are the opposite: “wild”, “out of control”, grasping frantically for happiness and approval from anyone or anything.
I’m glad to have “rules” – they make sense to me. Rules make my home better when I have little kids running around. Rules make my commute safer. Rules help keep me anchored in spiritual truths that actually make me happier and, in a paradoxical way, also make me free: by keeping to some basic “rules” in life, I’m free from the negative consequences of such an unruly, out of control, confusing, wild life that I initially mentioned.
As a missionary (I went to Siberian Russia for 2 years!!), rules helped me stay focused on my goals and kept me from being distracted by other things. I didn’t VOLUNTEER my time and money to SERVE a mission for Jesus Christ, only to go waste my time pursuing my own selfish desires (some of the things noted by the author being ‘joining sports teams’, ‘hanging out with girls’, or whatever). I could do all that without the mission.
Despite what you think about the Mormon church, can’t people just stop the mean criticism for a moment and say, “hey, there’s some dedicated youth who know all about sacrifice, service, and commitment, and they’re doing something they believe in that isn’t just themselves. Good on them.” It’s an absolutely extraordinary program – nothing else like it in the world, in my opinion.
I’ll leave this thought as well. My mission was the best decision I made in my youth. God has blessed me at every turn and decision since then in ways that I believe are directly related to my offering up some of my life to be a missionary for two years. You don’t have to be a missionary of course to feel connected with God, but my mission has been a springboard to great things.