Take me out to the ball game
Take me out to the crowd
Why is that man in that dress, you ask?
I guess he thought it matched his catcher’s mask!
So make sure to pack extra nylons
That slide to home is a pain!
Cuz’ it’s one, two, three runs you pout
At the drag ball game!
Yes, sports fans! ‘Tis that time of year once again when local celebrities people-you-might-have-heard-of-maybe check their egos and their trousers at the gate for a good ol’ sloppy game of softball. Yes, as part of Humboldt Pride Week, the Eureka Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are once again hosting all the eye candy that is Bat ‘N’ Rouge, a comedic softball fundraiser for the Arcata Forest Fund Committee. In short, you get to watch people in your community make fools of themselves and, eventually, you get some cool trails in the woods to play around on. Win/win.
This year’s event is a little different than in years past in that instead of two teams of not-so-macho local notables, one celeb dream/queen team will be challenged by the established LGBT softball powerhouse The OUTfielders. It could, wait no, will get ugly (seriously, some people should never wear lipstick). Who will be setting this year’s fashion “don’ts” trends? Here’s a deep roster:
Andy Salatny, Mark Andre, Kirk Cohune, Sean Robertson, Gene Joyce, Mike Wilson, Gregg Foster, Bob Ornelas, Hank Sims, Andrew Goff, Will Startare, Travis Turner, John Shelter, Toby Mays, Briar Bush, Pete Nichols, Tom Chapman, Shane Brinton, Michael Winkler, Steve Salzman, Gabe Pressure and Johnny Berrypicker.
In addition to those fools, the Kinetic Rutabaga Queens will act as impartial umpires and there’ll be a “half time” tease courtesy of the Va Va Voom Burlesque Vixens. Much better.
Bat ‘N’ Rouge takes place at the Arcata Ballpark on Friday, Sept. 7 at 5 p.m. Tickets are $20 for stadium seats or $10 for grass seats. For more info go to humboldtpride.org.
This article appears in The Mormon Moment.