Just for practice, I created
another planet. Took me a week,
and it was still unmanned!
And now I’m stiff and sore all over.
Went to cancel it, but
couldn’t remember where I put it.
Now it’ll probably run into
one of the others!
So I went to check out Earth.
It had been a while. My god,
it was overgrown! And all the
Non-Believers! More sodomy
than at Sodom! I went to wash
it clean, but they said I promised
not to do that again!
Now, when did I do that?
Told the Pope, never mind the
“Be fruitful and multiply”—
he said it would never fly
at the Synod, but to check back with him
next visit. Smote him down–an eyeblink later
there was white smoke, and another
in his place.
Took a chariot out of there—
halfway to Heaven I realized
the turn signal was still on!
Hard to relax—maybe a little nap—
but here are all the original Hell’s Angels
running across the lawn!
Now, where did I put that brimstone?
This article appears in ‘Bait and Switch’.