Ambivalence about Independence Day festivities is as old as the holiday itself — bold move declaring all men equal while you’re still running chattel slavery. And genocide. You could say having misgivings amid the parades is traditional. In his 1852 address “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?” Frederick Douglass noted, “The blessings in which you, this day, rejoice, are not enjoyed in common.”
But even if your family tree doesn’t bear the scars of disenfranchisement or outright enslavement, lighting up a sparkler right now, as our nation cannonballs into the piss-warm pool of fascism, feels weird, man.
Here are some ideas for participating in America’s birthday despite the last-call-for-democracy vibe.
Think of it as retro. Who needs historical reenactments? We’ve actually re-created the conditions that led to the American Revolution in the first place: a government hellbent on wildly unpopular policies, tax breaks for corporations, government agents busting into homes and searching — even grabbing people off the streets — without warrants or due process. You could almost call them intolerable acts. All we’re missing is tricornered hats! That and the Founding Mothers had largely unfettered access to abortion until the1860s. (Well, only our white foremothers, what with the chattel slavery.) Just think of the suddenly pro-mask ICE agents as Redcoats. Assuming they’re ICE and not randos cosplaying Desert Storm to toss people in vans with zero authority.
Host a cookout in the backyard. This is a great opportunity to practice the outdoor cooking you may need if/when society collapses and the rapidly deregulated food system crumbles. Somebody check and see if U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has already posted his roadkill recipes where the COVID-19 protocols used to be.
A great way to remind people that none of this is normal or OK, and that they are being fed lies, is to only serve turkey dogs and refuse to acknowledge it.
Instead of the usual red, white and blue Jell-O, put out a 9-by-13-inch pan of deep red, salty tomato aspic. When Todd spits out his first taste and asks what the hell it is, respond by saying, “It’s tomato aspic because that’s what I wanted to make and we no longer have a system of checks and balances to prevent abuse of power by the executive branch, Todd.”
Themed activities. Once you’ve finished deleting any anti-Trump posts or memes implying America may not be on the path to renewed greatness so you won’t be detained while traveling, put down your phone and have some quality time with the family.
Gather everyone for a speed round of Slaver/Not a Slaver, running down the signatories of the Declaration of Independence. Was Benjamin Franklin an abolitionist or did he buy, sell and trade human beings? (Hint: That’s a tricky one). What about Charles Cotesworth Pinckney? If you’re not sure, you can take a wild guess. It’s roughly a 45/55 chance!
Ask your cousin in the “We the People” T-shirt with the ragged flag on it to list the articles of the Constitution. Any of them. Really, anything beyond the Preamble. Psst: It’s on the citizenship test.
Make the most of fireworks. It’s the sparks that light up the night sky, but the boom that follows is a good time to let out that deep, soul-emptying rage scream you’ve been suppressing since last November. If your sketchy neighbor drove to Oregon for the genuinely dangerous stuff, you may even purge enough roaring frustration to pass out on your lawn for a few minutes of blank-minded bliss.
Of course, every year those same loud noises send dogs running panicked into the street and scurrying under beds to hyperventilate. Dogs have never been more relatable. Instead of making small talk with humans at a pool party while your stomach roils because the birthright citizenship enshrined in the 14th Amendment is being torched like the fuse on a Roman candle, join the canines. Get yourselves a couple of ThunderShirts, slide under the bed and ride it out together.
Jennifer Fumiko Cahill (she/her) is the managing editor at the Journal. Reach her at (707) 442-1400, or jennifer@northcoastjournal.com. Follow her on Bluesky @jfumikocahill.bsky.social.
This article appears in A Place to Stop and Rest.
Gee, what a spoil sport; ruining it for everybody who wants to rejoice in the simulated shock and awe that will make america great again !