The large sign over the archway said: “Welcome to Pillowburg Resort and Spa!” The small sign next to it said: “No Crabs Allowed.” The guard, a flabby sea slug, noticed me and said, “Oi! We don’t allow your kind. Beat it.” I was like, “Why? What did I do?” The guard said, “You are a […]
Seagulls
Posted inLife + Outdoors
Surf Smelt Crime Spree
I’ve noticed recently that once a person commits enough crimes in plain sight, all their subsequent crimes are basically freebies. One life sentence, 12 life sentences … who cares? And there are only so many times you can be executed. I’d like to achieve this exciting state of crime freedom. So I’m going to start […]