In what seems to be a stunning, unprecedented coup d’état, 2007 Rutabaga Queen Emma Breacain, who also serves as Treasurer on the board of directors for Kinetic Universe, will now serve as “this year’s Rutabaga Queen,” according to a report in this morning’s Times-Standard. This last minute shift in the Kinetic power structure comes just one day before the annual Kinetic Grand Championship is set to “spin into gear.”
[Queen Emma is shown here in a 2007 photo, perhaps plotting with the late Glorious Kinetic Founder Hobart Brown, who seems shocked by her proposal.]
Ironically, Queen Emma “The Emchantress” was part of the group of Kinetic royalty that elected and crowned 2012 Rutabaga Queen Wendy “Sohotshe” Burns last weekend at the official Rutabaga Ball. It is uncertain at what point this affront to democratic transfer of power took place. Asked for a comment via Facebook message this morning, Queen Emma has so far declined comment. The whereabouts of rightful Queen Burns are unknown.
Update: In a bold admission of guilt, Queen Emma noted to Queen Burns (on Facebook), “Hey, looks like I’m getting a second reign, compliments of the Times Standard!”
Her official comment to the Journal, began with an evi laugh. “I have been planning my triumphant return for so long,” she admitted, adding, “Sorry, Sohotshe, age and treachery always trumps youth and skill!”
[The rightful Queen is shown below just after receiving her crown.]
This article appears in Choo-choo Fantasies.
Muahahahaha! I have been planning my triumphant return for so long! Sorry, Sohotshe, age and treachery always trumps youth and skill!
Obviously, a situation than can only be resolved via the wrestling pit…
We love Queen Emma the Emchantress, but Team Berrypicker stands resolute in support and defense of the rightful, reigning Queen, Sohotshe burns! Our troops are marshalling as of early this morning.
Onward! Hail, Queen Sohotshe Burns!
The troops will be rallied, we will be moving to encircle the offeded and rash of slurred. All hail Queen Sohotshe
It explicitly does not say in the official rule book that time machines are not allowed, but the implication is clear (with enough espresso) that they must be human powered. I do believe the Time Standards breach of the time-space continuum was certainly people powered. So this year we will have two years. Those of us who prefer the good old days will be at this year’s race in 2007 serving our beloved Queen Emma. Those of you who prefer the present day, you be here now folks, why you can serve Queen Sohotshe and attend this years race in 2012. Me I will be at this years race in 2017, or perhaps 1969. I was too young for it the first time. Well, I’m out of time. Remember, this race is about me. For Doug Lory.
Queen SoHotShe is bound to have a few choice comments… unless she has a bout of amnesia…
No word yet from the displaced Queen. What has The Emchantress done with her? Was a spell involved?
Thank you so much for the image of the print edition! They’ve changed it on the online edition. I called the author this morning and gave him a what-for, and when I looked at the online edition… well, I was worried I’d been mistaken. Aaaaand nope. Aaaaaand I don’t feel bad at all. It’s not like this was a difficult thing to fact check. Lazy, lazy TS staff! I shake my fist at you!
Oh No! Disparage not the hard working reporter who suffered a simple misunderstanding, this stuff is so incredibly easy to get wrong in various degrees! Meanwhile my dastardly plans for Sohotshe must naturally remain secret for now. Can’t nobody touch this Queen! Muahahahahaha!!!!
The Royal Groom of the Stool has the proper documentation. Hank, please step in and present your findings!
Am I going to wake up with a unicorn’s head in my bed for this transgression?
Kinetic Universe = Thieves.
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