A couple of rings and then, in a chipper sing-song: “Thanks for calling The World’s Greatest Bank this is Tracy how may I direct your call?” That’s how tellers at Umpqua Bank answer the phone, all earnest and frighteningly pert. Lots of companies force this kind of pathological sunniness on their workers, like those acid-trip […]
Ryan Burns
Ryan Burns worked for the Journal from 2008 to 2013, covering a diverse mix of North Coast subjects, from education, politics and marijuana to human suspension, sex parties and amateur fight contests. He won awards for investigative reporting, feature stories and news coverage.
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Call the Fiscal Justice League
The world economy teeters on the verge of collapse. Stock markets in the U.S., Europe and Hong Kong resemble Richter readouts from the Big One. Wall Street brokers’ heart rates leap tall buildings in a single market rebound while here on the Main Streets of Humboldt County we look desperately for answers. What does it […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Eureka Reporter calls it quits
The great daily (or nearly daily) newspaper war has ended with a victory for the Times-Standard. The Eureka Reporter announced today that it will cease to exist after this Saturday, November 8. The announcement evidently came as a surprise to most everyone, including the staffs of both papers. Dean Singleton, CEO of Media News, the […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
At the Orgy
Until the woman walked by with her breasts hanging out, it could have been any old Halloween party. Well, that’s not entirely true. There were other clues, like the Jack-o-lantern with a dildo for a nose. And the strap-on strapped onto the Amy Sedaris look-alike collecting tickets at the door. Plus the array of couches, […]
Posted inLife + Outdoors
Learning the Drill
To drivers passing Eureka High’s parking lot Monday morning, it must have looked like an official military drill: two battalions standing in perfect formation, looking sharp in their Navy blues. But up close you could see these were not hardened soldiers; they were high school students enrolled in the Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Periodical lemming
From the mouthpiece of liberal elitism (or is it elitist liberalism?), The New York Times, comes this story about the imminent demise of The Christian Science Monitor’s daily print edition. The cost-cutting measure makes The Monitor the first national newspaper to largely give up on print. And so it begins. The nonprofit, church-financed fish-wrap won […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
E Pluribus Eureka
Parents gathered on the rock-hard bleachers at Eureka High, cheering their linebacker sons and cheerleader daughters, live in a different Eureka than the one inhabited by the tattooed women over at the Shanty, downing PBRs and flaunting their bruises after a gloriously brutal Roller Derby match. The Eureka of art patrons sipping wine at the […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Stench plume
Arcata Firefighters spray down scorched equipment A putrid-smelling smoke cloud befouled Arcata’s western skies Wednesday afternoon after a fire erupted in the old Beaver Lumberyard near the corner of 7th and L streets, and it had nothing to do with marijuana. Gas masked firemen doused the flames, but not before they had melted a few […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
The Body Politic
With less than three weeks remaining before election day, it’s time for democracy to get nasty. Or “nastier,” as the case may be. As the politicking gloves come off and the verbal blows gravitate southward, it seems appropriate somehow that what may be the nastiest, most pugnacious political melee in the county is going on […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Can you hear me now?
Neighbors of Eureka church protest planned cell tower A couple dozen picket sign-packing protesters lined the 200 block of Harris St. Friday, expressing their civic outrage over a proposed cell phone tower set to rise from the grounds of the Apostolic Faith Church that occupies the block. The church pastor allegedly requested the tower from […]
Posted inNews (NCJ)
Arms and the Child
The Arcata and Eureka Youth Protection Acts — measures F and J, respectively — aim to keep military recruiters from targeting minors: "Stop Recruiting Kids!" demands the website for the citizen initiatives (stoprecruitingkids.org). In order to defend the defenseless from the nation’s defenders, the acts must first face the voters. If they win that battle, […]
Posted inArts + Scene
Humboldt Movie Times/Openings
Humboldt Movie Times/Openings 2/24-3/1 -CLICK FOR THIS WEEK’S MOVIE TIMES- PREVIEWS: WANDERLUST. Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston play a Manhattan couple who join a free-love commune in this comedy from director David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer). R. 98m. At the Broadway, Mill Creek and Fortuna. GONE. Bug-eyed beauty Amanda Seyfried sets out to save […]