Friends, these are indeed unprecedented times and our democracy is in peril. But let’s not get crazy.
We need to present a united front. Those of us who haven’t been pulled off the streets and disappeared by plainclothes ICE agents have an obligation to stick together and honor those stripped of their humanity because of their immigration status, gender, sexual orientation or skin color. An obligation not to get tangled up in identity politics that are going to alienate Klan members, homophobes, JK Rowling and the fascism-curious. If we ever have another election, we’re gonna need those votes. OK, I’ve just learned Rowling is not a citizen but the point stands.
You don’t want to look like the hysterical women who were shrieking that Roe v. Wade would be overturned. Because their whole “I told you so” thing, coupled with all the yelling and blinding fear is extremely unattractive. And I’d like to remind you that it’s only in, like, seven states that women have been criminally investigated for miscarriages, which account for only, like, 20 percent of pregnancies. Tops.
Which is not to say our democracy isn’t in peril. It’s definitely perilous out there.
But we’ve got to keep optics in mind while protesting. It’s deeply upsetting to see demonstrators jamming up traffic or clogging up the lot of a Tesla dealership. And once the right to vote is winnowed down to landowners with complexions lighter than a paper bag, we won’t be able to afford losing a single one of them.
I know what you’re thinking: This country was founded on protest. But the Sons of Liberty only threw tea from ships into Boston Harbor to protest the injustice of the East India Co. getting a pass on the Townshend Acts. That’s right, a corporation avoiding paying taxes. And if the Black Lives Matter protests taught us nothing else, it’s that damaging property is the literal worst thing you can do. Well, unless it’s 1773 and you’re a white man costumed as a Native person. Which we don’t do anymore, even on Halloween, as it is offensive. So, looks like no property damage under any circumstances at all, folks.
Let us not forget we are a nation of laws, most of which are newly unenforceable within the Executive Branch. And we are responding to democracy’s unprecedented peril within the time-honored traditions and protocols started by wig-sporting slave owners.
Now, more than ever, we have to find common ground with the groveling party, the semi-lucid president and his unhinged billionaire/never-ending sleepover bestie who are publicly dismantling our vital institutions. At first, I thought we could do this by erecting a few golden Trump statues but I guess we’ve gotta give on every amendment except the Second. Then they’ll be ready to talk.
It’s a sacrifice but like I said, it’s perilous.
When I joined the Coronation Committee for the Emperor His Excellency in Eternal Reign, it was that or be left out of the decision-making entirely, without a seat at the table. I refer here to the literal table, inlaid with gold and which I believe will be piled with the meat of endangered species the Presidential Princelings shot from Marine One at low altitude over formerly protected parklands. And I want you to know that when I voted for “free range” on the menu, this was not what I meant, but what are you gonna do? We voted, fair and square.
I did not vote for the confetti cannon shooting tiny fragments of the Constitution into the air, either. But Elon was pretty excited about the cannon and we have to pick our battles. But I think I made my voice heard in the discussion and my protest is noted in the official record. In fact, if you watch the footage of the ceremony, you’ll notice that as I kneel to kiss the ring on his puffy, spray-tanned finger, I am wearing a black lapel pin denoting my unease with the proceedings.
The point is, we have to find a way to work together. Is the Republican party and the current administration sledgehammering into the load-bearing walls of checks and balances, separation of church and state, and Civil Rights? Yes. But they’re not going to do it without us.
Jennifer Fumiko Cahill (she/her) is the Journal’s arts and features editor. Reach her at (707) 442-1400, extension 320, or jennifer@northcoastjournal.com.
This article appears in Taco Week 2025.
