Dino Cardelli, senior pastor and founder of the Calvary Chapel of Arcata, stood in the pulpit, hands clasped, a wire microphone curling from behind his left ear, and began a sermon he’d titled “God’s Lamentation.” On the wall behind him was the outline of a large white dove diving earthward, the symbol of Calvary churches nationwide. Cardelli, a handsome, curly haired man of 49 whose sermons are broadcast weekly on Access Humboldt, spoke to his congregation about Psalm 81, in which the Israelites are taken into the bondage of sin. “The people have not listened to the Lord,” he said, reaching out with an upturned hand. “They have not walked with the Lord. They have not had their relationship with the Lord. And so the Lord is lamenting here.”
This was Cardelli’s last sermon before being arrested last Thursday on suspicion of continuous sexual abuse of a child living in his custody. The charges: one count of recurring sexual conduct, three counts of lewd and lascivious acts and five counts of oral copulation, all with a single victim — a child under the age of 14. Tuesday afternoon, Cardelli pleaded not guilty to the charges. He’s being held on $750,000 bail at the Humboldt County jail, and a preliminary hearing is scheduled for Sept. 24. If convicted on all nine counts he could face up to 16 years in prison, according to Deputy District Attorney Kelly Neel.
Cardelli’s community of followers, according to one member of the congregation, is heartbroken — not for themselves primarily but for the numerous children who were in Cardelli’s care, many of whom are adopted and have special needs.
It gets worse. This tragedy comes less than six months after another: the suicide of Pastor Dino Cardelli’s wife, Nancy Cardelli, a dedicated Christian, mother and longtime advocate for special needs kids. Jan Carr of Arcata remembers meeting Nancy Cardelli in 1999 at a class Nancy was teaching on transporting such children to the Bay Area for medical care. Carr had recently adopted her own special needs child, and the two women quickly bonded over their shared passion, becoming close friends and confidants, Carr said.
Carr — who spoke with the Journal Monday morning — recalled getting a phone call last winter from Nancy Cardelli, who said she needed to talk. Carr recounted that Nancy asked to meet her at the McKinleyville Starbucks, and once there she made a shocking confession: She suspected that her husband Dino was “romantically involved” with one of their adopted daughters. Nancy was tormented, Carr said — torn between her Christian beliefs in the sanctity of marriage and her faith in the righteousness of her husband on the one hand, and on the other, her growing belief that something terrible was happening in their home. Carr said Nancy confided in her that Dino and their adopted daughter had been openly flirting with each other, talking sexually at the dinner table and otherwise flaunting their inappropriate affection for each other despite Nancy’s pleas for her husband to stop and for them to find another home for their daughter.
Carr spoke frequently with Nancy over the next few months as Nancy sought help and guidance from counselors, including one that she and her husband were seeing together and another that she was consulting on her own.
In the weeks before her death, Nancy Cardelli left her husband, moved in with a friend and stopped attending church, Carr said. On March 19 she used her cell phone to post a message on her Facebook page. “The plans that the lord have are for a future and a hope,” she wrote. Two days later, her husband reported her missing. That night, Bobby Lucas, a former Arcata police officer and current member of Calvary Chapel of Arcata’s board of directors, found Nancy inside her car, parked on Seidel Road in the Arcata Bottoms. She’d died earlier that day from an overdose of over-the-counter pills, according to County Coroner Dave Parris. Carr said there was a suicide note left behind that read, “I’m in more pain than you know.”
Dino Cardelli’s arrest last Thursday was the result of a tip from the alleged victim’s high school, according to Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Brenda Godsey. One of the Cardelli’s biological children, now grown with kids of her own, declined to comment, citing legal restrictions and “respect for the remainder of this family.” Reached by the Journal, Bobby Lucas sent along a statement on behalf of the church leadership, saying that they were praying for Dino Cardelli and his family and that they had accepted Cardelli’s resignation from the church.
Carr said that while she’s concerned for the Cardelli’s children — who have been placed in alternative custody, according to Godsey — she’s also relieved that her friend has been vindicated, albeit posthumously. “Nancy was the most loving, wonderful, compassionate person,” Carr said. Asked why she didn’t inform law enforcement of Nancy’s confessions, Carr said that like Nancy, she had no proof. “I was just so torn for all these months, and I kept saying, ‘Let law enforcement take its course,'” she said. Now that that’s happening, Carr is comforted. “I’m so happy for Nancy. Now the world will know she’s not crazy.”
Tuesday afternoon Carr called the Journal to say that she’d been reading some old e-mails from Nancy, and she found one sentence particularly poignant. On Jan. 16, at 9:35 a.m., Nancy Cardelli sent her an e-mail saying in part, “I am clinging to the hope that the truth will prevail!”
UPDATE 9/16/10: The county coroner’s office yesterday released Nancy Cardelli’s death certificate and the associated coroner’s report. The death certificate confirms that Nancy Cardelli died from an overdose of diphenhydramine, an over-the-counter medication often prescribed to treat and/or prevent allergies and motion sickness and also as a sleep aid. It further confirms that a suicide note was found on the scene.
In the accompanying coroner’s report, Deputy Coroner Charles Comer notes that in a follow-up interview with Dino Cardelli, the pastor informed him that his wife had attempted suicide two weeks earlier using similar methods and that she had been “having some issues” with one of their daughters, their marriage and depression.
This article appears in The Town Downer.
This happening leaves me (almost) speechless – more questions than answers. How do we let our lives get so out of control? My comment is that talking about our problems is the first step, pretending all is well does more harm than good — regardless of race, religion, gender preference, social class — We Need Each Other.
As someone who read Nancy’s suicide note, I know first hand that Jan Carr has no knowledge as to the content of the letter. You really should check your sources and not allow someone who has little to no relationship with the victims in this case, to speak on their behalf. You are making yourself liable for lawsuit.
Kamera:
The Times-Standard reports today that the prosecution against Mr. Cardelli also contends that the alleged molestation contributed to Mrs. Cardelli’s suicide.
I was not questioning the validity of the influence dino played with nancy’s death, but I was saying that Jan Carr did not read a single word stated in nancy’s parting letter. This should not have been quoted or included in the article.
Nancy’s letter was not written to Jan, nor was she invited to view it. The inclusion of that quotation is offensive to those who she did address her letter to.
@Hank Wrong, here is the quote from the Times Sub Standard!
“Neel told the court the people believe Nancy Cardelli’s suicide was “directly related to the trauma she was enduring” at home.
Not he said the “people” meaning the court and not the family.
Jan Carr and the rest of you people at this rag, are offensive. You turned an opinion piece into a story and tried to give validity to it. Jan Carr gave you a time line and then strung it together asthough she had inside information.
Jan Carr are you making a call to your home owners insurance agent. Seem’s like she was blaming the child, didn’t it?
@Friend O’ Friend: When a prosecutor speaks of “The People,” she means “The People of the State of California” — the people she represents in court.
@Hank
yeah, I just didn’t think that you understood that. Jan Carr has really set up a case for “reasonable doubt” by using this platform to spew conjecture. You all have done such a fine job in contributing to the “plea bargin”.
@Friend: According to the coroner’s report (see above update), Dino Cardelli himself said that the suicide was likely related to troubles at home.
@ Ryan
Don’t mix the times standard article with the North Coast Journal article. This is the quote from the times standard article.
“According to the coroner’s report, Dino Cardelli told Deputy Coroner Charles Comer that his wife had been “having some issues with … their marriage and depression.”
The times standard does not give any mention to Jan Carr, Or did you not notice that. You actually believe that you are the only media outlet that she approaced with her conjectures. It appears the times standard has a pretty bright legal department. Maybe they checked her background and discoverd that she is not a credible witness? Is she a credible witness? Or do you not care?
“I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.”1Co 2:3-5-Paul makes it very clear that while he was among them he was greatly disturbed. He was “in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.” Little wonder that he could say that God had chosen the weak things of this world. Paul had no exalted opinion of himself; yet he was a great intellect and a great man in many ways. Obviously, he never thought of himself as great. “A Christian is nothing more than a sinner who is saved by grace.” Even though we are saved, we are still frail, prone-to-sin creatures living in a sin-filled environment. That in no way excuses our sin, but it is the reality we live in. The quickest way to fall away from your faith is to put too much emphasis on a man or woman of God. God uses human instruments to plant the seeds of salvation. He uses human instruments to disciple us in our new-found faith. We forget they are humans who walk in the same frail clay bodies as we do, prone to the same weaknesses we are. Nobody is immune to sin. No matter who you are, your life flows from your personal relationship with Christ. There is a very real enemy who is out to kill, steal, and destroy. The enemy is very wise in the art of warfare. Why waste time working on taking out people one by one, when if you can take out a leader you can wipe out many people at once. The enemy knows that if he can take down a leader of a local church, he can take out many people at one time. WE need to be praying fervently for our church leaders, That God would surrund them with a hedge of protection. The ground is level at the foot of the cross, and like we learned by Peter’s experience, we are all capable of sin. The key point I want you to understand today is that you must keep your faith focused on God, and not a man so your faith will not be shaken.Christ was the only one who did it perfect. My personal philosophy is to take the spiritual wisdom from other men and women of God, but never idolize them, never expect them to be more than the man or woman of flesh and blood they are, but realize that God has touched them in a special way and given them something that can benefit our spiritual lives. Today’s word is an important reminder that the only one we should ever try to pattern our lives after is Jesus Christ, because He is the only one who lived this life without sin. He is our example and the one each one of us should strive to be like. Pray for those that God brings into your life to share the truths of His Word . Never let your eyes focus so much on A man that you lose sight of GOD. After all, no man could die for your sins. It was GOD who loved you so much that He willingly bled and died so that you might have everlasting life. Keep your eyes focused on HIM.
@Friend:
First, Jan Carr did not approach us. Second, who claimed to know “the actual reason” why Mrs. Cardelli took her life?
Wow. All I can say is wow.
@ Friend of a friend
How could try to defend anything at this juncture. How could you possibly.
Obviously people who commit suicide are having major issues. Why else would a person as good-hearted as Mrs. Cardelli take her own life. Does it not make enough sense to you?
I am disgusted that you would defend this man. Disgusting.
The defense is for Nancy’s family (minus dino). You did read the thread of posts didn’t you. You can post your apology to whomever in the family you wish to. Since you “obviously” know something that they don’t or didn’t know or was unable to do. That is what you are trying to say aren’t you?
In my opinion, everyone needs to calm down. Isn’t this situation already bad enough? We don’t need people chewing each others heads off. We need to be sensitive to the fact that the people we are discussing are some ones family members, and the situation at hand has destroyed that family. People are hurting. Nancy would absolutely detest this bickering. The truth will triumph in the end.
Mr. Cardelli’s statement to the Coroner raises some disturbing questions. What, if anything, did he do to help after Mrs. Cardelli’s first suicide attempt? Did his relationship with his daughter interfere with his response?
DID EVERYONE SEE THE RESPONSE FROM DAUGHTER TO STOP POSTING
FOR THE FAMILY’S SAKE AND ALL OF THE CHILDREN AND FOR THE SAKE OF NANCY’S MEMORY.
PLEASE STOP POSTING IT’S HURTFUL TO THEM!
Calvary Chapel has a history of abuse and corruption and cover-up. The Dino Cardelli situation is horrendous. Calvary Chapel the Institution/Organization does not care about the Victims…but rather sets up a System that protects the Calvary Chapel Pastor from his Flock…and fosters an ethos that says the Pastor is “God’s anointed” and “special”…and makes it extremely difficult for victims and whistleblowers to confront abuses and the warning signs of abuses. CalvaryChapelAbuse.com deals with some of the issues.
“Carr spoke frequently with Nancy over the next few months as Nancy sought help and guidance from counselors, including one that she and her husband were seeing together and another that she was consulting on her own.”
Psychologist/psychiatrists are mandated reporters of child abuse. If Nancy and Dino were in counseling this should have been reported. If they were seeing counseling within their church only and the “counselors” were not licensed, this would be a problem. The counselors might not have been qualified and should not be in this position. Just a thought.
The problem is widespread and stretches from coast to coast. Here is another CC with history of abuse, corruption cover-ups etc
http://www.bishop-accountability.org/news2008/05_06/2008_05_18_Burstein_FortLauderdale.htm
Listen to yourselves, you are all pathetic. This is a horrible tragedy and you are bickering like lawyers and angery teenagers. Just lighten up.
Yet another cheap swipe at Access Humboldt. This is becoming a trend with the Journal, isn’t it?
The comments on here regarding Jan Carr in a negative manner is ridiculous. Carr was a dear friend of Nancy’s and meant no harm in this matter. I’m guessing the ignorant comments were left by his “followers” who are quick to point a finger, when they should be pointing it at themselves.
“Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile”-Kurt Vonnegut
@ child Welfare Advocate
KAMARA wrote :I was not questioning the validity of the influence dino played with nancy’s death, but I was saying that Jan Carr did not read a single word stated in nancy’s parting letter. This should not have been quoted or included in the article. Nancy’s letter was not written to Jan, nor was she invited to view it. The inclusion of that quotation is offensive to those who she did address her letter to”.
How is what was said “ignorant comments” left by Dino’s followers. Really weak argument. What harm she ment to cause and what harm she did cause are two differnent thing. Nice try Jan Carr. Try again.
I can assure you that Jan Carr had nothing to do with my post. I do know her well and know of the work she has done on behave of abused children. This is a tragic story and very emotional for all of us. Hopefully, we can each do our part to see that another child is never harmed.
Dear Kamara,
This is the first time I have posted to the NCJ. Please let me clear up the confusion. I was contacted by the NCJ to tell my side of this story. When asked, I told reporter Ryan Burns that I did not see the letter Nancy left and was only told of it’s contents by Nancy’s daughter. You can certainly confirm this with Mr. Burns.
I do know “Child Welfare Advocate.” I had nothing to do with her post. Anyone who knew Nancy loved her. She would ask that we set aside our personal opinions and hateful words and work toward a safer community for our children.
Thank you, Jan Carr
Reading the Times Standard article and comments from Thursday. It’s clear that Nancy Cardelli’s death and Dino Cardelli’s actions (the child molest) are linked. From the comments, it looks like some church members were aware that something innaproprate was going on. I don’t know the laws. Wondering if he is responsible legally (obviously he is guilty morally) for her death? And what about those who suspected and chose to remain silent? How can we prevent this from happening? No family should have to suffer this kind of loss.
It looks like all the forum discussions about this have been pulled over on TimesStandard. Maybe just as well.
For the record, Jan Carr did indeed tell me that she’d never personally seen the suicide note, a distinction I should have made clear.
We will never know what has really gone on in this case because of all the minors involved. Call it the tip of an iceburg! Neither the police or CWS/CPS will leak info and have to cover themselves (AKA-CYA) because they are the agency who placed so many in the family’s care. Are they using leverage at TS to prevent public discussion? Sure the Sheriff would like to say only one victim.
Hey Ryan Burns,
Since you value clarity, how did you know to contact Jan Carr? why not me or jon or tom?
Barb, seems like your in desperate need to know. Don’t tell me for the sake of preventing this from happening to someone else. You are obsessed with finding out details that the family wishes to come out in court and not to your to know or anyone else. It’s called prosecution! It’s called getting justice. Go buy a national enquirer and sit on the toilet and read it! Anyone else with the same obsession can do the same.
You seem awfully defensive and want this ISSUE to remain a private/family/church matter and don’t see the public/community having any place in it aside from what the court determines=very egocentric of you.
My concern is what seems to have become a “cottage industry” of so called foster care. I think THAT is the iceberg and this particular case is just the tip of that bigger story. I don’t want to know anymore of the sordid details as implied and I don’t stay on the toilet long enough to read newspapers-I don’t have a problem with constipation or diarrhea for that matter. I have a life, thank you. Some people are interested in more than superficialities, not really the same as an obsession.
Get a National Enquirer HA! In recent years the NE has become more reputable than it originally was and now more reliable than many “newspapers” and has broken stories that many have overlooked. Now they always fact check! It’s not your mother’s/father’s rag-mag anymore. (not that it means I buy it though)
@Since UR: I don’t know who you are. I spoke to one member of the family, as noted in the story, and I got a response from the church. If there’s something you’d like to say here, please do. Also feel free to call me at the Journal.
Ryan Burns
So you are saying someone at the church told you to speak to Jan Carr? or was it the family member who told you to speak with Jan Carr?
@Ryan, interesting response.
“I spoke to one member of the family, as noted in the story, and I got a response from the church. If there’s something you’d like to say here, please do.
You and Jan should be forced to contribute to a fund if it is ever established for the victim. This opinon piece that was published has done nothing but cause harm, to the victim, her family and her church.
As the victim, her family and the church attempt to pick up the pieces and heal over the next several years, you and Jan will have forgot all about them. Dino, I pray will be serving a long stretch somewhere in prison, but you will have moved on to your next “hot story”. This is much more than a story, it is lives that have been literally destroyed by one man, Dino Cardelli. The victim, her family and Calvary Chapel of Arcata have been accused of neglect and deamonized without any proof. This all done without having even heard from the victim. If Jan was such a concerned person, why didn’t she speak with the victim?
I still haven’t seen one person post they had first hand knowlege of anyone who specifically knew the victim was being molested and that person(s) did nothing to stop it or the person failed to report it to the legal authorities. To whoever posted “I heard rumblings” that something inappropriate was happending. Please explain yourself. Did you call the authorities, speak with anyone in Nancy’s family (minus Dino) or contact anyone in the church leadership? If so, who did you contact and what if anything was or was not done.
Don’t kill the messenger. I just want you to look in the mirror. If I had know anything, or saw anything you bet I would have taken action, along with many others. That action is not very christian like, so I don’t want to go into it. Just to say, John Bottit would have nothing on Dino.
Found this story particularly chilling as I lost a good friend to these people of the Calvary Chapel in Arcata. Under the “spiritual guidance” of Dino Cardelli my friend turned into a homophobic fundamentalist. Coerced into writing CC a monthly check for 10% of his meager earnings, this man could not even afford health insurance. The Lord tells us to be aware of false prophets, wolves in sheep clothing. This incident seems to me a metaphor for our country’s spiritual health. The Pharisees have taken over, God help us all.
I find it extremely funny, and ironic, that these are the people that are preserving the “sanctity of marriage.” Someone tell me why same sex marriage is a bad thing again?
“these are the people” ? what people? the people who condone child abuse with their silence? settle down, freak boy – this string not about your issues. you can find same sex marriage strings elsewhere. this string about how to prevent child abuse, giving young girls more confidence in this culture — encouraging people with problems to come forward.
Thank you Northcoast Journal for printing this story. There isn’t anyone who’s heart doesn’t go out to this family. Those who are angry about the story are mostly likely from CC.
Although, not a member of the Calvary Chapel, I have good friends who are. These are good, law abiding citizens. They were not aware of the molest, but looking back, they felt something was peculiar about the relationship between the pastor and the child. They were aware of Mrs. Cardelli’s worries. They were also aware that the pastor had been warned about his “feelings” for the child.
This went on for a long time under their noses. Very sad that somehow, all the tradgedy was not prevented.
Dear Richard, it’s great that you are friends with those who attend Calvary Chapel of Arcata. But again, here is the same montra, “they were aware of Mrs. Cardelli’s worries”. And “were also aware the pastor had been warned about his feelings for the child”.
What exactly are you saying went on for a long time under who’s noses. Name those who ignored anything that was brought to there attention. What did they fail to do or say? Can any of you ancer that question? What was not done?
The child was molested for at least two years and the mother is dead. OBVIOUSLY, not enough was done.
First of all my I would like to express sadness over Nancy’s death and her daughters abuse, this is such a tragic story. Of course what is so shocking is that this is not a story this is real and was happening in our community. There are a number of things brought up that should be clarified. If any counselors that Nancy was seeing were licensed they are mandated reporters, and by law required to report any abuse. This needs to be investigated by law enforcement immediately. Also, what is Jan Carr’s title. If she has a history of working with abused and or special needs children and she new anything about ongoing abuse I would be very concerned that she did not contact law enforcement and CWS. I think this is what people are upset about regarding Jan Carr. To me it is not important what Nancy said in her suicide letter unless she mentions people she told that did not support her in coming forward to protect her family from continued abuse. Why was Nancy not supported when she was alive to give all the information to CWS and law enforcement herself, why did counselors not report abuse whoever they are, why did church members and friends that were aware the pastor’s “feelings” not come forward? There are a lot of unanswered questions, so there is also finger pointing. If this had been investigated in a more timely manner maybe Nancy would still be here, how tragic! There are too many child molesters in this area, so we as a community must take responsibility and take action when necessary. Demand as a community that this is all investigated quickly and professionally. As a retired social worker who has worked with abused children I feel that we need to ask what could have been done sooner!!
Dear Think About It,
For the record: I contacted Social Services when I had concerns for the Cardelli children in the home. Like many others, I was not certain there was a sexual relationship until the arrest.
Jan Carr
I believe it was investigated in a timely manner, but it’s difficult without a victim. In this case it appears this victim was still under the pastor’s “control” until just days ago. THANK GOODNESS she came forward when she did. Many victims never report.
@Think about it.
You may be surprised but all of your questions already have an answer, but the NCJ is not the place to post them. It’s called the criminal justice system.
So, the questions, Why this? Why that?, are repeated over and over again. And another thing, who is it that needs to clarify anything to you. Are you asking social workers, the couselors and law enforcement to release information to NCJ for the public to view?
It may be really hard for people to believe that Dino failed as a father and a husband and it is convienant to blame everyone else but him. But, yet again, you probably don’t want to wait to have this man’s deeds revealed in the proper forum, it’s easier to have them put on display here where it has no effect, but it would make everyone feel better.
Dino, rot in……….
@Liz, just throw things out there won’t you! I take it you have read the witness/victim statements! Two years. So she would have been how old. You do realized by your uninformed statement that Nancy died only 5 months ago.
You have wisdom beyond your years.
MARK 7:16
God Bless you.
By talking about this, whether it’s in our own homes, our workplace or in the NCJ, we are educating each other and oursleves, opening our minds and hopefully, we’re better prepared to help the next victim.
To the frequent poster with a variety of aliases, you are becoming transparent. You are also quite a bully.
@ Isaac
“By talking about this, whether it’s in our own homes, our workplace or in the NCJ, we are educating each other and oursleves, opening our minds and hopefully, we’re better prepared to help the next victim”.
RU for real! People have done nothing but blame, Jan Carr, the police, social services, the victim, the victim’s family, the church, and everyone else for being neglegent. Except for the Pervert (Dino).
Great you are educating yourself and comparing notes as to which one of you is less informed as the next. Let’s pontificate and see who believes they can come up with the best questions. Let’s all play CSI, because no one is as smart as….
GET ON BOARD WITH THE VICTIM’S RIGHTS! THANK GOD VICTIM’S NAMES IN SEXUAL ASSAULT CASES, AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES ARE NOT REVEALED TO THE MEDIA. Or do you feel you have a right to know their names?
Hey Jan Carr,
I know you stated Ryan Burns contacted you. How did Ryan Burns know to contact you?
Dino Cardelli’s Myspace is so offensive. If you’re one of his defense attorneys, you might want to have it removed.
He didn’t waste much time after his wifes death posting on Myspace that he was interested in dating…just sayin. I know there is no set time for grieving but jeesh…jump right back in there.
@Since UR: Jan Carr identified herself as a friend of Nancy’s on Facebook, so I sought her out. As for this story being an opinion piece demonizing the church, I think you’re reading too much into the tea leaves. What specifically are you angry about?
As a church-going Christain, I did not read Ryan’s piece as demonizing the church. That way of thinking is so 1980’s. If you’ve been too close minded to step into a church for the past 20 years, stop talking like you know what’s up. Dino is a very sick man, and I am baffled as to why his congregation did not step up. My guess is that “conflict is to be avoided at all costs” — a societial problem not limited to churches. We each need people in our lives who are unafraid to call us on our shit, regardless of how painful it is. Today, make a pledge in honor of the victim. Ask someone you trust to Always tell you the brutal truth – ALWAYS.
Instead of killing herself…she SHOULD have gotten her daughter out of there and protected her.
what does it…I mean WOULD it…mean if every night you had nightmares of jesus peeing in your ear while you’re buried neck deep in the dirt being eaten alive by ants. All you see is golden glimpses of fluid light as the salty sting burns your eyes…all you hear is the thunder rolling across the horizons that is God’s laughter at your plight. What does…er…would that mean?
@uncertain – perhaps ur ? is rhetorical. my answer is along the lines of “one bad apple does not spoil the rest of the apples in the world.” when I was a kid, I had a teacher slap me in the face, hard. does that mean all teachers are abusers? Education is stupid? Schools are cesspools of hatred? Maybe some adult in your life growing up was trying to get you to do something (tie ur shoes? clear the table?) and decided to go with the “God is watching and will punish you” approach.” I personally think that method is irresponsible. Sometimes adults make mistakes.
Word Out Loud: Psalm 15
Pastor Dino Cardelli of the Calvary Chapel of Arcata teaches from the Holy Bible: book by book, chapter by chapter,
Keywords: Access Humboldt; California; Humboldt County; Spiritual
Downloads: 76
So Ryan Burns,
You are saying out of Nancy’s almost 160 friends on FB you happened to pick out Jan Carr? Really! WOW Jan Carr is so lucky.
Ryan Burns
I have only commented on this one (albeit pretty significant) question. The church is a bit of subplot. Your answer and Jan Carr’s answer doesn’t add up all the way. If Jan Carr in fact contacted you, that would make sense but you picking her out of 160?
I don’t quite understand why “UR” is aggressively attacking Jan Carr? Perhaps nobody likes a whistle blower? I, myself, admire her courage to come forward. Yes, it does rock the boat, but it had to be done. And if I were to make a bigger assumption on how she was picked out to be contacted, I would guess it would come from the original article published in the times standard online when she stated her opinion early on in the blog (that later disappeared). That connection makes sense for me. Either way, I’m glad somebody is wiling to take the berating that has been given, otherwise nobody would come forward, anywhere. And, then we would never be able to have any real justice. Sad, this is what happens. And have you noticed that these two are the only ones to actually give their names???? Why don’t you give yours? Or mine? We all fear the backlash and are thus hiding. Kudos for transparency Jan and Ryan! Now we just need justice!
@Jan Carr
You should feel free to answer if Ryan Burns won’t answer the question. What gives, we are all waiting!
Seems to me you are patting the wrong two people on the back. THE VICTIM CAME FORWARD AND TURNED IN THE SUSPECT (HER FATHER) TO AUTHORITIES DAYS BEFORE JAN GAVE HER ACCOUNT. RE-READ THE ARTICLE. JAN DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING, JUST LIKE NANCY. THANK YOU NANCY’S DAUGHTER WHO EVER YOU ARE FOR COMING FORWARD AND REVEALING WHAT THAT PERVERT WAS DOING TO YOU AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU MORE VICTIMS WILL BE COME FORWARD, NOT BECAUSE OF RYAN BURN OR JAN CARR!
BTW, Jan Carr’s statements in the Times Standard also came out after the nancy’s daughter and turned Dino into the authorities and he had already been arrested. Dino was arrested on Thursday, September 9, 2010 and the first Times Standard Article report was on Tuesday September 14, 2010 and this article wasn’t published until September 16th, 2010. Jan Carr and Ryan Burns are not heroes. The HERO is Nancy’s daughter!
Real shame that this article was published. Just because something CAN be written doesn’t mean it SHOULD be. Truly, it is hard enough to be the teenage victim of this crime, without having all the details hung out for everyone to see and discuss. I hope this brave kid has a rock-solid support network keeping her close and protected. I hope she is being taken care of and getting all the help she needs, along with her siblings. She did the right thing, and what happened was not her fault. What happened rests squarely on the shoulders of a 49-year-old man who was supposed to have her best interests at heart.
Dear Posters,
I’m not certain how Ryan Burns contacted me is of any significance, but I can clear up your mystery. Yes, I believe Ryan saw something I had written and was able to send me a message via Facebook.
I wouldn’t even know where to start to put your minds at ease and help you to understand this very complex story. I have very few answers, and still have so many questions.
I can tell you that my heart is broken. My dear friend is gone. We had a unique relationship over the years. I also have seven adopted children. Although, Nancy and I didn’t socalize much, we always came together to support each other when we needed a friend the most. Yesterday, was one of those days for me. I needed her wisdom, her experience and her encouragement and she wasn’t here. My pain is so deep, I can only imagine how terribly devastated her children are and how much they miss their mom.
I will you that Nancy was one in a million. Her warmth was extreme and comforting. I can still see the twinkle in her eyes when she chuckled. There wasn’t a day that I spoke to Nancy that she wasn’t hopeful. Even through her frustration and distress, when I spoke to her, she was determined to find truth.
I certainly did not agree to tell my story to be a hero. It doesn’t matter to me what any of you think about what I did or didn’t do. I’m not a professional, just a mom and a friend. I was there to listen when Nancy needed me. I did not give her much advice, other than to encourage her to talk with her counselors. I also encouraged her to talk to social services, which we both did.
I waited until the arrest to tell my story publicly. I knew that the facts would be uncovered through the media, as the judicial process began. Although, the system is unpredictable, I have complete faith in the detectives on this case. In the months ahead, as this complex case unravels, we will all have answers that will help us make some sense of this tradgedy.
Would I change anything looking back? Yes, I would have contacted Nancy in the last few days of her life. I’m not sure that I could have changed the outcome, but I would have done my darndest.
I am so sorry if the NCJ article upset any members of Nancy’s family. The members I have communicated with, understand that I shared my story to let this community know that my friend was not crazy. Nancy had a mission, to find truth. Thank goodness her daughter came forward. I would like to thank her for being so brave. Yes, she is the hero!
I expect that the posters will now tear apart this letter. I’m not writing this to convince anyone of anything. I would hope that instead of bickering, we reach out to our friends and to our children, hold them close, love and listen.
Sincerely, Jan Carr
@ Jan
You need to sit down with Nancy’sFamily and make this right! Because they love Christ, they are very forgiving. You know how to get a hold of me if you want to make this happen.
“Bob,” As a Christian and a Brother, I feel the need to give my opinion. Somehow, amidst all the grief, you have become clouded. The ONLY person who needs to make anything “right” or needs “forgiving” is Dino Cardelli. You were his friend and if you really want to make a difference, help HIM “make it right” with his family.
Who are we to judge anyone’s story? Everyone has the right to tell theirs. The Cardelli Family will need support when the media continues to report the intimate details of this story. They won’t use compassion while reporting. The child’s name will be confidential, but that’s about all.
Don’t let yourself get into a self appointed authority position deciding who needs forgivness. That position is all too familiar to us, unfortunately.
Take a step back, Brother.
Thank you grief stricken.
The term “make things right:” can be misconscrewed and apparently it has been done so here. “Make things right” should have been taken to mean, “make peace with one another”. I don’t see anywhere were I suggested Jan Carr needs to ask for forgiveness. Please re-read my post.
As for being a friend, “anger”, betrayal, sadness, is all I have to offer. Right now, he needs more help than I can offer other than to pray for him. But how do I pray?.What do I pray for? I pray in tears and I fast. As a sinner, I have been forgiven much and I trust in the Lord, but this hurts beyond measure. I want to forgive, but I’m not there yet. LORD HELP ME WITH MY ANGER AND TO FORGIVE!
Brother, as I step back, I pray that you are with me in prayer!
God Bless
@Since UR @Friend: To break this down step by step: On Nancy Cardelli’s Facebook page, Jan Carr posted something to the effect of, “You’re finally being heard.” I then contacted Carr through Facebook. Why you consider this a “pretty significant” question next to the tragic events of the story itself is beyond me. I, too, commend the victim’s bravery and hope the family and community can heal. And I’ll repeat my offer to anyone who has concerns about this story to contact me personally. 442-1400, ext. 317.
I wanted to clarify that I also believe that the victim is first and foremost the “hero”. One thousand percent!
But the victim also needs the support of others willing to come forward and speak the truth about what they know. This was my point about Jan Carr’s true candidness. I believe that it is commendable. But, what is most important, is that the true blame lies with the father and NOT with the victim or witnesses.
My prayers for the family and survivors of this tragesy. Should Dino have sone such horror to his adopted child then render to ceasar, God, O lord what a maddening sick tragedy, please have mercy and love on the fmaily
Ryan Burns,
Thanks for clearing that up. OK, i believe you, that makes sense. i thought it was important because it went to creditability. By the way, i never questioned the NCJ or attacked you. in fact, i think you did a fine job with your article. Really, i do. You are doing your job.
JAN CARR on the other hand. This is the first time i have ever commented on anything you have said. Let me be clear: i do not question your friendship with Nancy, concern and heartbreak for her family, your intentions for good, or your own sadness. How could i, i do not know you. but, what i find difficult to understand is your JUDGMENT. as Anonymous asked me on, 9/20/10 at 9:47pm, “Why don’t you give yours [name]? Well the reason is, very simply, this story is not about me. This story is about, as the subtitle states,”Heartbreak and tragedy follow the alleged sins of Arcata Pastor Dino Cardelli.”
Jan Carr, your contribution to this community-story/NCJ-discourse is another character (Jan Carr) and the very personal (for the family) pain inducing, shakepearean tragedy type details that were certainly sensational, but did not contribute to community need-to-know aspect of his story. As far as i can tell it was you, Jan Carr that introduced these details into the community discourse and thus inserting you has an additional element/character to this family’s now public tragedy. Judgment, not motive is what i find distasteful. This story is not about you or your need to tell your story.
Bob, AKA Since UR, along with your various aliases you’ve posted here,
You continue to “beat up” Jan Carr through your constant, harassing posting. I’d love to see her “come back at you” but she’s a better person than that.
What Dino Cardelli did is “distasteful.”
YOU were his best friend and confidant. THAT shows poor judgement!
Do us all a favor, take your “Brother’s” advice and take a step back. Spend more time praying and fasting and less time on your computer.
@sic of u,
Way to go! But you forgot to add: If we’re talk’n Shakespearean players, Bob will be playing a LEAD role for sure! “Supporting Actor.”
Anonymous makes a good point.
“But the victim also needs the support of others willing to come forward and speak the truth about what they know.”
@ sick of you
@James
Sorry I can’t claim those titles. I don’t have time to attack Jan Carr. I pray that everyone that loves Nancy even those of you who don’t have a clue as to who she was or what she stood for, to honor her memory and to be at peace. As for being a friend, to Dino like many others, guilty as charged. But as for being his best friend and confidant or knowing his personal dealings, you’ll have to keep searching for that person. Not that it’s any of your or anyone elses business, but my best friend and confidant died in my arms two years ago from breast cancer.
anon and lila make a good point. are you listening dino’s christian do gooder friends?
@James
@Sick of you.
Your comments should be directed to me, as you see, I have used my name. If you have comments for the alias, please direct them to the appropriate parties. Is that agreeable to you? I wouldn’t want their comments confused with mine. You are also invited to give your name.
Make that “BEST Supporting Actor.”
This reads better than the Enquier!
And I don’t mean the story, I mean the comments!
Just saw the photo of Dino Cardelli in today’s Times Standard. Chilling. Hope he doesn’t make bail.
to late
I attended the first post-Cardelli service. Here is my response:
http://interrobangtribune.blogspot.com/2010/09/shepherds-pie.html
I’ve known the Cardelli’s 14 years. Nancy I always treasured, Dino I always mistrusted. Whether in church or their home, Dino remained aloof and practiced. I did not trust him. I am enraged at how he has damaged Nancy’s children and taken her life. I am equally enraged at how Calvary Chapel protects its pastors, because it does. I know this first hand. I am a Christian. I’ve put two calls into Chuck Smith (founder of Calvary Chapel), with no response thus far. I am very concerned about support for our community in light of what Dino Cardelli has done. How can anyone have confidence in our churches/pastors without the proper aftercare?
simply satan pay attention churches and chuck smith shame on you you need to address this
Nancy C never had any proof of what she thought was happening between her husband and the victim. And you can’t exactly report something you have no evidence of…
And the girl is not the hero, she’s a very confused girl who needs lots of help from God. Her head is very confused, and she needs lots of help. She needs love, and help.
It may look like she is, but believe me. Dino isn’t the only one to blame, she’s just as much to blame as Dino. All I have to say…
-Anonymous
Not in the eyes of the law, Person.
I say we change your name to “By Insane Person” I mean really who else is there to blame when a 49 year old preacher uses the bible and his “god like” authority to coerce a very young girl, his daughter no less, to have sex with him. And his wife is so fear full of this demons power she chooses death over turning him in. The victim needs prayer yes, we all do, but she also needs therapy. Get real Person, I’d say you need help from god. And Dino it’s to late for you, there is blood on your hands. God does forgive, but that does not mean you have a get out of jail/hell free card.
I greatly appreciaet what from the daughter said. We must love and support the family and try to be the first one to throw all the wrong at dino and put our 2 cents in to it. Nancy would have hated all this bickering and stupid fighting so for her sake STOP!! That would truly show who cares about her!
@ by ANNONOMUS thank you i agree with you 🙂 my mom would have hated it.
The best part about this…is the church labeled her “a loon” because pastors cannot possibly sin. They sit at the right hand of God.
Oh whoops, maybe we shouldn’t put them on pedestals after all? Darn, well one life lost, I guess we can all move on now?
What accountability will come from this? Its been swept under the rug long enough yes? Time for some rules to govern calvary chapel moses models
Only future Dino has now is Bubba’s butt loving adventures and death if they put him in general population.
I’m sorry to be so late to learn of these things. I retired last year, and began to look-up old friends to see how they are doing. I met Nancy at Calvary Chapel of Lake Arrowhead, 1993 to 1995. She led a women’s Bible Study, played guitar, and led awesome worship. I heard “The Battle Belongs to the Lord” in one study, for the first time. So beautiful! She also played “We Will Worship the Lamb of Glory.”
I kept these two songs in my memory, and thought of her these days as the songs returned to mind.
I’m so grieved by this ending to what seemed like her yellow brick road to happiness, after all the heartache of her childhood.
Nancy ran a child-care in her home in those days. She and Dino lived in Crestline in a rather lovely old house. The day-care was in her home, and thrived. Dino attended Calvary Chapel Bible College, nearby in Twin Peaks near Blue Jay.
I was a Forest Service worker who got disillusioned and came to the Bible College to their open meeting Sunday nights, to hear Pastor Larry Taylor. He had very helpful sharing and I was drawn to attend the school in mid-life. I took the buyout and left government work in 1994.
Nancy shepherded me, or at least drove me around, in those days. She told me there was a terrible accusation against the day-care, which she could not discuss with me, but I knew she was getting counsel from Pastor Tim at church. She had to close the business, and the mortgage went unpaid. She told me Pastor Tim said to let the bank take back the house. I wondered, then what?
In those days, Pastor Chuck Smith was ordaining the young men from Bible college to be pastors. Dino got the church support and they went away.
I had a mom with pneumonia and left the area awhile, and I lost contact.
I know it is forbidden, Biblically, to accuse a Pastor without two or three witnesses. So some crimes have to wait for the victims to grow up, it seems. Did anyone check with the day care moms and kids, grown up and grown older by 2009, from the Crestline days? Did anyone ask Pastor Tim Hamilton what the history was? He had an assistant pastor who did counselling; Brett, I think. There was a female counsellor, too, who led a group for women to talk, just women to women.
Going to counseling was not a sign of mental illness in those days. We were all just people, and people have troubles, so I also sought church leaders and counsellors for wisdom.
Maybe pastoral confidentiality could have been breached, to talk candidly with the counselling staff in Arcata, when a credible witness like Nancy stood up to testify, and a child’s safety was involved. Did anyone contact the excellent and honest Bible College pastors and teachers, who knew Dino?
It seems too late, but I noticed something. Dino took a page right out of Nancy’s own teen years, in a horrible application of the exact abuse Nancy herself had suffered. It is public record, by the ACLU that helped Nancy’s court case as a child. It’s online. He betrayed her confidence and repeated upon a her adopted girl the exact same thing that was done to Nancy. And once again, nobody believed Nancy. Why are people so quick to believe the abuser and discount the victims? And they sent Nancy back to submit to her husband? So he could drive the psychological dagger deeper? God help us when our trusted church family is no refuge. At least Ms. Carr of the Baptists believed Nancy. Thank you, Ms. Carr! When he comes up for parole, don’t let him go. The crime against the girl might be over, but his crime against that wonderful wife was never even punished. She was a precious gift to him.