news story / By Helen Sanderson

My Derby Daze

The girl-power sport on skates prepares to storm the county

(May 22, 2008)  She said I was a natural, but I believe she was just pitying me. It didn’t feel natural. The maneuvers Jennifer “Grrl Haggard” Jenkins was asking of me felt all wrong. First lesson, get low — knees bent, butt out. Next lesson, fall to the floor. Third, get up without using your hands. Repeat.

We weren’t wrestling. We were roller skating, and it was nothing like I remembered — at 10 years old, those humid summers spent zooming around the neighborhood, chasing after the ice cream man, the concrete buzzing against my wheels, rattling my kneecaps. I’ve ice skated, played soccer, basketball, run track. I’ve climbed a tree in roller skates — no lie. I once had skills.

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But last Wednesday evening, as I flailed around at a “fresh meat” practice for the Humboldt Roller Derby league, I had to forget what once was. I had to let go of the past.

I am not 10 years old, I told myself. I’m not 20. I’m closing in on 30 and I should probably start on some calcium supplements. Get low, fall down, get up. Forget all the other stuff.

For the women of Humboldt Roller Derby, the sport has taken more than a year to master and for many players, it has become much more than a pastime. It’s an addiction that consumes their lives.

“Once you start, you never see your spouse,” said Jennifer McMahon, founder of Humboldt Roller Derby. “We call them ‘derby widows.’”

So after a year-plus of family neglect, practicing two to three times a week, and a few broken bones and torn ligaments, the league, which ranges in age from 21 to 46, has split into two teams and will host their first-ever public bout this Saturday night, May 24, at Redwood Acres, when the The Hot Tempers take on The Cold Hearts.

Here is the abbreviated version of what to expect at a roller derby match: Players — super-competent players, not rejects like me — skate full-speed around a flat oval track, mowing one another down while attempting to thwart their opponents’ progress. Each time the “jammer” laps the other team, she makes a point. Games last for 60 minutes, split up into two-minute jams and four quarters.

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