filmland / By Charlie Myers

Fool’s Film

Plus: Schnabel avoids the schlock in insightful ‘Diving Bell’

(Feb. 14, 2008) Previews

If it’s Valentine’s Day, it must be time for…new film openings. Four films open locally on Feb. 14, including the family-friendly The Spiderwick Chronicles from director Mark Waters (Freaky Friday; Mean Girls), an adventure story wherein Freddie Highmore plays twins Jared and Simon Grace, who find themselves transported to an alternate universe. As a bonus, at least for me, the wonderful Mary-Louise Parker plays the twins’ mother. Rated PG for scary creature action and violence, peril and some thematic elements. 107 m. At the Broadway, Fortuna and Mill Creek.

Fool’s Gold: “The ads say, ‘The action comedy is back.’ But even by the absurdly low standards of that genre, this one sets new lows.”

GALLERY >

Based on the novel by Steven Gould, Jumper is a sci-fi film about individuals who can teleport themselves anywhere they wish. Unfortunately, another group of people are trying to wipe out these people. I’m not sure what this has to do with Valentine’s except some people would probably like to teleport away from this whole “holiday.” Directed by Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity), the film stars Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilsen, Diane Lane and Samuel L. Jackson. Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action violence, some language and brief sexuality. 98 m. At the Broadway, Fortuna and Mill Creek.

A sequel to 2006’s Step Up, Step Up 2 the Streets covers the same territory with different characters and actors. This time, the rebellious street dancer is Andie (Briana Evigan), who enrolls in the same Maryland School of the Arts as in the original film and forms a team to compete against her old street mates and probably finds romance too. Rated PG-13 for language, some suggestive material and brief violence. 107 m. At The Movies and Mill Creek.

In an actual fit for Valentine’s, Definitely, Maybe is a romantic comedy/drama about an advertising executive (Ryan Reynolds, Smokin’ Aces) on the verge of divorce who picks up his daughter (Abigail Breslin) at school only to be questioned by her about sex and his relationship with her mother. He responds with a tale where the names are changed, so the viewer has to guess which character is the mother. Most of the film is a flashback that constitutes the answer to the daughter’s curiosity. Maya’s mother is played by Elizabeth Banks (Spider-Man 3). Rated PG-13 for sexual content, including some frank dialog, language and smoking. 121 m. At the Broadway, Fortuna and Mill Creek.

Opening Friday, Feb. 15, is the French animated comedy/drama Persepolis. Based on the graphic memoir by Marianne Satrapi, this is a coming-of-age story of the young Iranian Mariane, whose family suffers under the Shah’s regime and whose life is affected when the Islamic revolution brings regime change to her country. Mariane’s mother is voiced by Catherine Deneuve. Nominated for an Oscar as Best Animated Film, Persepolis looks promising. In French, English, German and Persian with English subtitles. Rated PG-13 for mature thematic material including violent images, sexual references, language and brief drug content. 105 m. At the Minor.

Reviews

FOOL’S GOLD: Wow, what a stinker. I’m almost at a loss about how to begin to review this completely worthless excuse for a film. The ads say, “The action comedy is back.” But even by the absurdly low standards of that genre, this one sets new lows.

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