Prodigal Arkley
In 2010, a doofus will rise
(Dec. 31, 2009) The Top One Story of 2010
What a year it was. We said goodbye to the Samoa peninsula after the Great Oct. 18 tsunami; the only people that will ever again inhabit towns like Manila and Samoa and Fairhaven will be underwater archaeologists, perhaps of the extraterrestrial variety. Three days later, the great earthquake swallowed Petrolia and transported its citizenry to Middle-Earth. We bid them goodbye with the hopes that they would finally find the hobbits they had spent their lives seeking.
Newly elected Governor Woody Harrelson legalized marijuana by fiat, and was iconically photographed blowing smoke rings in Humboldt State President Rollin Richmond’s face. In response, the city of Arcata changed its name to “Pot City U.S.A.” and rolled out the green carpet for the governor’s star-studded weed junkets (proceeds to charity). Later, for the sake of convenience, the state Capitol was moved to Redway’s Mateel Community Center, and the legislature changed its schedule to accommodate regular Ziggy Marley shows.
The City of Fortuna packed up, brick by brick and board by board, and rebuilt itself exactly to scale on an empty ice floe bordering Wasilla, Alaska. In early telegrams home our former neighbors reported that the climate was remarkably invigorating, though we haven’t heard from them in some time.
Looking back, though, none of these events — momentous and even world-historical though they may have been — had anything like the pure human drama of year’s most gripping story, which, in retrospect, reads like something out of a fable from ancient Greece. This story — the struggle, the triumph, the defeat — will be told around campfires so long as there are humans to tell it. We devote our issue to it.
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seven-o-heaven
Old Town Arcata
Will Plaza Point put the kibosh on Arcata whippersnapper shenanigans?
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Feb. 2
Drug Money
Spending records offer rare glimpse into fiscal life of Humboldt’s drug cops
Jan. 26
Burlesque!
Now it’s bustin’ out all over
Jan. 19
New Direction
The fall and rise of John Shelter, homeless advocate turned entrepreneur
Today
Label GMOs Signature Gathering Training
meetings / 4 p.m. Sun Yi's Academy of Tae Kwon Do, 1215 Giuntoli Lane, Arcata. Help gather valid signatures to get the 'California Right to Know Genetically Engineered Food Act' on the 2012 ballot. E-mail northernhumboldtlabelgmos@hotmail.com. 223-0424.
Open Celtic Music Session
music / 3 p.m. Cafe Veritas/Mosgo's, 180 Westwood Center, Arcata. Informal monthly gathering of musicians playing Irish and other Celtic music. Hosted by Seabury Gould. seaburygould.com. 845-8167.
Nonviolence Action Camp
etc. / 10 a.m. Chinmaya Mission near Piercy. Weekend-long direct action orientation features workshops, role playing, seminars, ceremonies and field trips. Bring food, bedding, warm clothes, signs, banners, bikes, drums, acoustic instruments. Pre-register. saverichardsongrove.org. 932-5898.
Audubon Society Field Trip
outdoors / 9 a.m. Humboldt Bay National Wildlife Refuge, 1020 Ranch Road, Loleta. Meet at Refuge Visitor Center off Hookton Road. Leisurely, two- to three-hour trip intended for people wanting to learn birds of Humboldt Bay area. 822-3613.
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EIGHT Comments
Comment / By Nelson / Dec. 31, 2009, 8:44 a.m.
That was almost funnier then I might have possibly hoped to think it could be… or more!!!
Comment / By Laughing Out Loud / Jan. 1, 2010, 10:58 p.m.
OMG that was so funny. You made my New Year’s Day…
Comment / By Stuart / Jan. 4, 2010, 7:36 p.m.
Not funny. I used to enjoy reading the Journal, but the last several issues have been getting steadily worse. For me, it has lost its appeal. The next time I walk by the newspaper stand and see the Journal, I will probably just keep on walking and not read it at all.
Comment / By Anon.r.mous / Jan. 5, 2010, 5:39 a.m.
I think I’ve put more effort into a bowel movement than the writer did with this story. And the result is the same.
Comment / By Eireen / Jan. 5, 2010, 1:18 p.m.
Not a real “cartoon.” And not great. But then not as bad as the “pot porn” photo cover story of a few years ago.
Comment / By Joel Mielke / Jan. 5, 2010, 7:32 p.m.
Ambitious and funny. A good combination. Congratulations!
Comment / By Johneureka / Jan. 6, 2010, 9 p.m.
Humor should be left to the experts. When some people try it, it is just lame & maybe a little childish.
Comment / By Amber / Jan. 7, 2010, 10:32 a.m.
Utterly stupid and completely unoriginal. Two “creative” individuals attempt poke fun at a wealthy community member by insinuating that people who have money act in an utterly ridiculous and frivolous manner without any concern or care for those around them.
Then again maybe the two “creative” gentlemen are right; a man who has worked hard his whole life (and not to mention has made many generous donations to the community) really doesn’t deserve any of the money he’s made. They totally stick it to the man on this one. Oh oh, and really good point about the balloon track, it would be just TERRIBLE if that land was cleaned up and made into anything other than a hypodermic needle nest.