The dreaded bridesmaid dress. An unholy artifact of the thrift store. Congratulations, you spent $200 on a grotesque amalgamation of taffeta and chiffon that at least six other women in your town own. So unless you were trying to start a fancy gang, you were out of luck re-wearing it. You said you would modify it but you never did. The best future those dresses could see was being found by a local repertory theater costume designer or a creative high school student looking for a prom dress.
Fortunately, these days are behind us. The time of the considerate, budget-conscious bride is upon us. No longer are bridesmaids subjected to looking like they are in the wedding party of Shelby Eatenton from Steel Magnolias. We are now seeing the rise of color palettes, and dresses now come in different cuts, styles and shades that complement each of the bridesmaids. This approach gives bridesmaids resource flexibility.
I remember in the ’90s when every bridesmaid had to go to the same David’s Bridal or similar shop and get fitted for the exact same dress at the same price point. Now, with simple color palette guidance, bridesmaids can find dresses they love that also fit their budgets. Gone are the days of going into debt for a dress you will only wear once.
Not only are non-traditional bridesmaid dresses on the rise, but so are non-traditional wedding priorities in general. I married in September of 2023, and my wedding party was free to wear what they felt best in. We also defied social norms by including men and women — I know, jaws on the floor, y’all! — with both a Maid of Honor and a Butler of Honor. (Shout out to those two for planning my bachelorette party, which was indeed epic.) My husband’s side had a similar setup. His party was based on who he was closest to and celebrated how they chose to present themselves. We were blessed with the most fantastic people in our parties and, more importantly, we avoided putting the people supporting us into uncomfortable situations or, even worse, debt.
In the last two years, I’ve seen friends embrace this same ethos with much success. Caroline Needham had a lovely bridal party that utilized pastel colors in tones of pinks, peaches and blues. Another friend Nichelle McCovey had her bridal party dressed in scarlet red, with each dress chosen to flatter the shape of the woman wearing it. Speaking of non-traditional, Nichelle absolutely floored us all by reserving black for the bride — a bold choice with even bolder rewards. Her wedding was one of the most pleasurable events I’ve attended, complete with tacos by Los Giles Taqueria and a self-serve Margarita bar.
It seems that what used to be the dreaded bridezilla is giving way to a more understanding, budget-conscious bride who wants to see her friends, family and loved ones have a good time without breaking the bank. Furthermore, strict rules for attendee dress codes have been thrown out the window. More and more, engaged couples are encouraging their guests to be creative.
In the case of my wedding, the dress code was “Feel Your Fantasy.” It was my hope that people would come to our party and let their light shine. Luckily for me, I had the requirement that you bring your children. So we had a few princesses and even a Bowser. Some guests dressed in high glamour, some came looking like elves and others wore what made them comfortable.
On the horizon, another girlfriend of mine is having her wedding as a Summer Solstice camp-out at Pamplin Grove. Honestly, what could be more Humboldt than that? Swimming, barbecuing and listening to jams in the redwoods, from sunup to sundown. I tell you, folks, we have the life here.
More and more, I am seeing Humboldt couples take the next step in their relationships by supporting their friends, family, local businesses and the community overall. The brides I’ve spoken to have a deep dedication to creating events centered around joy and the abundance that exists right here in our county. Weddings here have a much more egalitarian, budget-friendly sensibility. A wedding is so much more than a dress. It is a celebration of families joining and a community coming together to support the union with joyful abandon.
This article appears in Weddings.