(April 8, 2021)
I woke up this morning to find that I'm no longer human. I'm a beach! I'm a dynamic beach with large surf breaking over me. The waves erode the large...
(March 11, 2021)
I enjoy beachcombing for many reasons but walking in sand isn't one of them. So I hired an out-of-work circus monkey named Frank to help me. He's super cute in...
(February 4, 2021)
The 2024 Olympic qualifying trials in beachcombing are about to start right here in Humboldt! I'm hoping to represent Team USA in the 10,000-meter freestyle beachcomb. I'm up against a...
(January 7, 2021)
I've noticed recently that once a person commits enough crimes in plain sight, all their subsequent crimes are basically freebies. One life sentence, 12 life sentences ... who cares? And...
(December 10, 2020)
I answered the doorbell and found Wonder Woman standing there in full costume. She explained that she was a space alien telepathically disguising herself. In order to gain acceptance, they...
(November 12, 2020)
Purple surf happens. I've seen it only once locally — in July about five years ago. But purple scum on the beach last month could indicate that it had happened...
(October 15, 2020)
Well, I was acquitted of murder again. This time I had beaten a man to death with my bare knuckles because he called a scallop a "clam." The judge agreed...
(September 17, 2020)
Over the years I have found three dead North American river otters (Lontra canadensis) washed up on local beaches. One of them had worn teeth, so may have lived...
(August 6, 2020)
Woohoo! I got me a professional beachcombing sponsorship. The good folks at Drip-Block Plastic Bags will cover all my beach-related expenses and I just have to be a pretty face,...
(June 25, 2020)
I was born on the beach. Actually, it was about 4 feet above the beach. My mother was a competitive beach volleyball player. She leapt for a big spike...
