(May 5, 2022)
I just gave some cruise ship passengers a tour called The Humboldt Culture and Beachcombing Experience. The first question from my busload of cruisers was: "Are you serving rum punch?"...
(March 31, 2022)
I have a shady-looking new neighbor. I'm pretty sure he slashed my tires — just because we like different sports teams. He's that kind. I'm sure he's also the one...
(February 17, 2022)
A couple of characters approached me at my favorite beach. They were dressed in pinstripe suits and wore fedoras. The small guy said, "Hey buddy. Nice beach you got here....
(January 13, 2022)
"Men, are you tired of not being noticed? Do women look right through you? Well, bull elephant seals don't have these problems. Stay tuned to learn about the benefits of...
(December 16, 2021)
I was already sad on Christmas morning when I found Santa Claus washed up naked on the beach. At first, I thought I'd found a dead marine mammal. But then...
(November 11, 2021)
My superpower is that I can fly. So I fly around identifying washed-up sea creatures for arguing beachgoers. I am called Flydentifier. For example, I once swooped in on a...
(October 14, 2021)
Captain Brunch, the saltiest of our local old salts, agreed to take me on a sea pickle expedition. But first, he sized me up with his one good eye and...
(September 16, 2021)
My buddy Castration Jones is here to judge whether the northwest ugly clam (Entodesma navicula) is poorly named. You may recall that previously, Mr. Jones, who is an authority on...
(August 5, 2021)
As you may know, due largely to the loss of its primary predator to sea star wasting disease, the population of purple urchins ( Strongylocentrotus purpuratus) has exploded along the...
(June 24, 2021)
There are two types of people in this world: There are people who would be horrified to witness a pod of orcas attacking a baby whale and ripping out its...
