(August 16, 2018)
If you are like millions of others, you often wonder what it's like to be a Pacific mole crab (Emerita analoga). I'm capitalizing on this trend with my Mole Crab...
(July 19, 2018)
Imagine for a moment that you live in a world where everyone is born wearing snuggly one-piece pajamas. As you grow, your pajamas tighten until they pop off and are...
(June 7, 2018)
Bat rays (Myliobatis californica) live peacefully in an environment of frequent violence. So I'm sorry but there's nothing funny about bat rays. If you came here looking for cute little...
(May 10, 2018)
So, you know about the theory of evolution by natural selection, right? A tiny random mutation in an organism's DNA results in better fitness and gets passed on to future...
(April 12, 2018)
I should warn you that I own a large pack of imaginary dogs. They are all rescue dogs that needed a forever home, so it's cool. And I've taught them...
(March 15, 2018)
A couple of you may remember my imaginary friend. Well, I had him killed. Every shark I've ever found on a local beach ate him alive. He raised his hand...
(February 1, 2018)
The other day my imaginary friend said, "Your little stories there in the back pages of the local weekly ... They're OK." "Just OK?" I asked. "Yeah. They're too much...
(December 28, 2017)
If you are presently trying to wake yourself up in a coffee shop, for example, go ahead and fold this paper up and take it home. Wait until you are...
(November 16, 2017)
In recognition of the poor eating quality of the longnose lancetfish (Alepisaurus ferox), parts of this story are written in poor taste. Longnose lancetfish, also known as longsnouted lancetfish and...
(October 19, 2017)
First, I'll answer a reader's question about the giant salp from last time: Does it ever get eaten? I answered, "Yes. Everything gets eaten — even you, eventually." However, I...
(September 14, 2017)
On a beach somewhere, a colorful blob is washing up and ignorant parents are calling it "a jellyfish" in front of the children, who respond, "That's not a fish, it's...
