Mindful Bitchface

(October 18, 2018) After a lifetime of strangers scurrying from my path, coworkers asking if I'm angry with them and people looking back at me with a panicked "What?" I accepted my diagnosis....

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The Right Time to Come Forward with Your Sexual Assault

(October 4, 2018) So you've been on the receiving end of unwanted sexual contact — what the U.S. Bureau of Justice defines as sexual assault. The Centers for Disease Control estimates you're...

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Facebook Update

(June 7, 2018) Hello. Mark Zuckerberg here with a few announcements about our Facebook community. Call me Mark, though. Many humans call me Mark. Just kidding. About the humans. It's been a...

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The Cat Would Like to Open a Dialogue

(May 31, 2018) Let me start by saying I am here to listen and this is a safe space. I want you to know that and feel comfortable. Maybe you could start by...

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Realistic Sex Robots to Save Us All

A word from your friends at HotBotix Engineering

(May 17, 2018) The Southern Poverty Law Center has categorized "incels," involuntarily celibate men who share and promote a virulently misogynist and violent ideology, as a male supremacist hate group. Self-proclaimed members of...

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Breakup Letter from President McKinley's Statue

(April 12, 2018) Dear Arcata, I didn't want to do this by letter but I know if I try to get this all out in person, I'll freeze up. We've had a good...

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Good Guy with a Howitzer

A proposal for private tank ownership

(March 22, 2018) Dear President Trump: I have been retired for more than 15 years and I need a hobby. I thought about trout fishing or bird watching, but they are too benign....

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New Cannabis Strains for Today's Stress

(March 15, 2018) Jefferson Beauregard Express. With a mellow cornbread, Brill Cream and Klansman hood scent, this Indica offspring of Reefer Madness and Jim Crow rolls up on you like a black SUV...

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Book Club Emergency Meeting

To address whether Todd is maybe a racist

(February 15, 2018) Everybody comfortable? Anyone need a cushion or a refill? OK. I've called this book club meeting tonight to discuss some tension that's arisen since we embarked on this new...

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