Supernatural Web MD

(October 24, 2019) For years Web MD's symptom checker has helped millions to input their aches, pains, twitches and itches into a flowchart of data that shows what they might indicate. It also...

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The Cat Would Like to Offer an Apology

(September 26, 2019) Good morning. You're probably wondering why I'm here, just a few minutes before dawn, with my full weight pressing down on your chest and my extended claws resting lightly...

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New Baby Names

(September 12, 2019) Naming your baby can be a daunting task. After all, it's literally how they'll introduce themselves to the world in person and on résumés. You need something you can coo...

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A Word about the 'Threat' of White Supremacy

(August 15, 2019) In the wake of the mass shooting in El Paso, Texas, by a white supremacist gunman who left a violent, racist manifesto before he murdered 22 people, Fox News...

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Totally Exonerated

A partially redacted breakup letter

(April 25, 2019) Hey, everybody. Some of you may have already heard that Laura and I have broken up. In our six months together, cohabitating for the last two months, we loved, laughed...

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Should You Blame the Media?

A decision flowchart for people in trouble

(April 4, 2019) Illustration by Jonathan Webster...

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Cannabis Strains for 2019 Stress*

*that we wish were real

(March 21, 2019) Ivy Express. Soothing notes of yacht deck wax and bubble sheet are the result of crossing Legacy Pledge and Aunt Becky. Together, they replace parental worry over your child's...

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Farewell from McKinley's Statue

(February 28, 2019) Oh, hi. Well, this is awkward. I mean, I figured we'd run into each other at the farmers market or whatever before I left. That's breaking up in Humboldt...

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Why I Will Not be Using Your Preferred Pronouns

(February 14, 2019) We've been friends for a long time and when you announced that you are non-binary I wanted to be a supportive ally. Remember, I was one of the first people...

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Welcome to the Stone Cleanse®

FAQ for beginners

(January 17, 2019) Here at Stone Cleanse® Ranch, our goal is wellness through the limitless power of Nature (copyright pending), drawing wisdoms from other cultures so you don't have to interact with them....

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Yelp Reviews of Christmas Dinner at Carol's House

(December 27, 2018) Scott P. ★★★★★ Amazing!!! This was hands-down the best Christmas dinner ever. The ham was — sorry, Gramma, RIP — even better without the pineapple and maraschino cherries. The conversation...

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