March 24. The Sweden Solar System is the world's largest scale model of the solar system. A spherical building representing the sun is located in Stockholm; other planets and celestial bodies are represented by sculptures and exhibits placed at appropriate distances around Stockholm or along the coast of the Baltic Sea at a scale of one to 20 million. Saturn, for instance, is placed 45 miles away in the city of Uppsala.
March 25. If the China Buffet on Eureka's 4th Street were the sun, Mars would be located at the Alibi Restaurant and Cocktail Lounge in Arcata.
March 26. If, on the other hand, the Loleta Cheese Factory is the sun, Mars would be located in the general vicinity of a free-form radio station in Ferndale.
March 27. According to the astrologers' calendar, today is the best day of the month to castrate an animal. Appropriate palindromic responses: Won't cat lovers revolt? Act now! Step on no pets.
March 28. If a free-form radio station in Ferndale is the sun, Uranus would be located at Trees of Mystery.
March 29. Today's horoscope: You want it to be one way, but it's the other way.
March 30. An alpine butterfly knot forms a secure loop in the middle of a rope without access to either end. A gunner's knot is more commonly known by gunners as a delay knot. A carrick bend can only be undone with a marlinspike. A Baltimore knot is never the same thing twice.
March 31. All in the game, yo.
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