Flat Champagne 

Editor:

Let’s see, it’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s and all the adults at the Journal are gone? How else can the lame parable by your calendar editor, Andrew Goff, be explained (“Prodigal Arkley,” Dec. 31)? 

Even the title of Mr. Goff’s piece — “Prodigal Arkley” — was erroneous. According to my 1990 Webster’s, a parable is a “short, simple story teaching a moral lesson.” This drivel was neither short (eight pages) nor did it teach a moral lesson, at least that I could find.  Again in Webster, prodigal means,” exceedingly or recklessly wasteful, a spendthrift.” Based on Goff’s poor attempt at (I assume) humor in his piece, he should have titled it “Prodigal Goff.” But then, that wouldn’t have had as much appeal on your cover, no? I would suggest you keep Mr. Goff hard at work editing your calendar.

Now, kudos to Ryan Burns for his well written piece on the sordid goings-on with the City of Eureka’s Redevelopment Agency (“Waste Water,” Dec. 31). Investigative articles like this are why your paper has succeeded all these years, why I advertise with you and why — at least most weeks — the Journal is a must read. Don’t lose your way and stick to what you do best.

Kenneth Daer, Kneeland

Editor:

Hank was in a bind. It was the end of the year, and he really had to get away for a vacation, but who would put the Journal out? “The Town Dandy” could simply abscond for a week or two — let them complain! — but who would write the news stories, the main feature? 

Everyone else was burnt out, too. Heidi was like, “I’m out of here, dude.” Ryan promised a short news story, but that was it. Even the reliably irascible letter-writers were apparently on vacation, and the mailbox was empty. Thank goodness most of the departments were coming through — except for Amy, of course. Let’s not even speculate about what she was up to! So. Who would write the main feature?

Hey, how about Andrew? “Seven-O-Heaven” was a cute little strip, starring two realistic Eurekan deadbeats and some predictable but still cute culture war jokes. Hhhmmm. Andrew said, “You want me to do what?” Take the controversy and suspicion that’s flourishing like blue-green algae between the Arkley-led developers and the conservationists, and hammer on this sore toe combo with some really in-your-face corny jokes. That will teach everyone to have a sense of humor. After all, we’re not laughing at Rob Arkley — just at his ridiculous caricature! This will really warm everyone up.

Next week: A return, perhaps, to thought-provoking journalism? 

Happy 2010!

Martha Walden, Westhaven

Sweet Spot:* Martha Walden wins a Bon Boniere sundae for sending our favorite letter of the week.*