Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ode to a Beached Cow

Posted By on Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 2:16 PM


Forlorn cow cast upon the rocks
Dampness and death have polished your hide
How did you get here, 'neath the boardwalk?
Did you never learn to watch for high tide?

Pallid lips curl over square teeth
An effortless grimace emitting no sound
Cloven hooves point out toward the sea
How long did they flounder there before you drowned?

The Coast Guard and sheriffs, they refuse to touch you
Tourists suppose you'll end up crab fodder
"Nobody," reasons Animal Control
"Wants to deal with a dead cow in the water"

Officer Patton of Eureka PD
Spared no lament for your final "moo"
"It's kinda disgusting," he said with a sigh 
"But taking it out would be disgusting too"

Forlorn cow cast upon the shoals
Swept out from your pasture and couldn't swim back
I hope I don't think of your rotting carcass
Next time I eat at Surfside Burger Shack

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About The Author

Ryan Burns

Ryan Burns

Ryan Burns worked for the Journal from 2008 to 2013, covering a diverse mix of North Coast subjects, from education, politics and marijuana to human suspension, sex parties and amateur fight contests. He won awards for investigative reporting, feature stories and news coverage.

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