Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I Facebook-Friended Richard Salzman into a State of Terror, and I Am Sorry

Posted By on Tue, Nov 2, 2010 at 2:43 PM

Journal contributor Terrence McNally writes:

I, Terrence McNally, recognizing that by several legal definitions I am a total jerkwad, hereby offer my apology to District Attorney Paul Gallegos' political operative, Richard Salzman.


Facebook friend-request terror victim Richard Salzman.

When I received a phone call from Arcata Police Department Officer Altizer today, Nov. 2, telling me that Mr. Salzman had filed a complaint with APD, I realized that my Facebook friendship requests were undesired and that Mr. Salzman, despite his lack of response, had no desire to create a Facebook friendship relationship with me. And that despite Mr. Salzman relaying to law enforcement that I had made "annoying and harassing phone calls," which never happened and I totally never called the guy and don't have his phone number, I understand that this is a Facebook issue. Oh, actually I did e-mail him once, and that was terrible.

Since leaving my employment at the Arcata Eye newspaper, I have felt entirely too free to comment about issues such as the District Attorney race, which I have witnessed over some 14 years.

So when Arcata City Council Candidate Dave Meserve is promoting his mission to create a public restroom, something he bungled during his previous tenure, I was flummoxed and stated so via Facebook. And when Meserve positioned himself as the savior of the bicycle trail movement, despite the current council's ability to create and pass, in his absence, the Arcata Pedestrian and Bicycle Master Plan, the document from which all of the city's bike and pedestrian trails will emanate, I was too quick to complain via Facebook. And when Dave Meserve appropriated AC/DC's font and motto, despite my complete distrust of his enthusiasm for rocking, I was too quick to judge.

Likewise, my offer to Richard Salzman to vote for his candidate, Paul Gallegos, on the condition that he accept my Facebook friendship was abusive, cruel and meanspirited (a term that seems to have gone out of style, but which I am attempting to bring back in place of the overused "douchebag," which for some reason is back in play).

And despite Mr. Salzman's proven track record of using the Internets unethically and for the purposes of political bullying, I now see that I have become that which I, uh... like, didn't want to be and stuff.

And that's bad.

So: Sorry ’bout that, Dick. I will not seek your Facebook friendship again, as it has caused you considerable emotional distress. Best of luck at the Lost Coast Brewery tonight.


Terrence McNally

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