Monday, June 14, 2010

Minor Infraction

Posted By on Mon, Jun 14, 2010 at 4:36 PM

Could be root beerThe Eureka Police Department arrested six people on Saturday for furnishing minors with hooch. How, you ask, did they catch half a dozen such creeps in a single day?

It's called a Decoy Shoulder Tap Operation, and here's how it works: Some sleezoid corrupter of youth slithers his way toward a liquor store, cleverly hiding his demon horns under a trucker's cap. Before he enters the fluorescent booze den, an innocent young thing -- his usual prey -- approaches him and with puppy dog eyes says something along the lines of, "Please, sir. I am underage and bereft of Mike's Hard Lemonade for my corner stand." Wink.

Devoid as he is of moral fiber, the man takes pity on the child. "Sure thing, sweetheart," he says. And before he can even step foot inside Barney's Discount Liquor Barn, boom! It's cuffs o'clock, sucka!

Where'd the cops come in, you ask? Was the child perhaps a dashing, oddly young-looking officer of the law? Nope. Real kid -- "a minor under the direct supervision of a peace officer," according to an EPD press release. Now this scourge of society will be punished with a minimum $1,000 fine and 24 hours of community service.

You bleeding hearts out there might whine, "Hey, isn't that entrapment? He was minding his own business until you coppers showed up with Junior in tow."

Guess what, hippie. Wrong as usual

And sleazeballs? Consider yourselves warned.

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About The Author

Ryan Burns

Ryan Burns

Ryan Burns worked for the Journal from 2008 to 2013, covering a diverse mix of North Coast subjects, from education, politics and marijuana to human suspension, sex parties and amateur fight contests. He won awards for investigative reporting, feature stories and news coverage.

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