The Cursed Wind
The idea behind using a horticultural oil is to coat the plant in something that will protect it from the wind. There is another product you can try — and I’ve never used it myself, so if you have, let me know how it works for you — an anti-desiccant called Wilt-Pruf. It’s a plant protector made out of pine oil that is supposed to protect broad-leafed evergreens by blocking evaporation from the surfaces of leaves. It’s also used to extend the lives of Christmas trees, wreathes, pumpkins and other living things that we bring indoors and torture with warm air from our heating vents. According to package directions, you spray it on, allow it to dry for a few hours, and then the plant is protected for a few months as the coating very slowly wears off.
There’s something a little creepy about spraying a protective coating on your plants, and it doesn’t seem like a very good long-term solution for lazy and forgetful gardeners like me who won’t actually get around to reapplying the spray every season. But I pass it on to those of you who may be better organized or more determined to keep your wind-intolerant plants alive.
I’m going to resort to my old stand-by, the one solution that works for all plant problems. If a plant isn’t doing what I want it to do, I threaten to kill it. The threat must be delivered out loud, right in front of the plant (plants have poor hearing, so you must speak up), and preferably with a pair of pruning shears in hand, to demonstrate both motive and intent. I’ve kept an ancient fuchsia alive for years with nothing more than death threats. Even if it doesn’t rally the plant, it’s a good way to let off steam. Try it sometime and let me know how it goes.
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