savage money / By Jennifer Savage

Damn Santa

Hypothetically, a credit card can also be used to one’s advantage. If a person owes $40 on said credit card, and has a $30 internet bill and a $100 phone bill, she can pay all $170 to the credit card company, then use the now-available credit to pay the other bills, coming out $40 ahead — and if she also only pays part of the utility bills, she’ll now have about $80 more. Clearly, a dangerous game (as my credit report indicates). I advise against it. Don’t do it. (Unless you have to.)

More constructively, skip the TV and the mall and anything else that might dangle child-directed advertising at your little darlings. The less they know they want, the better for you. Cultivate an appreciation for books and art. You can find all sorts of decent used children’s books at Booklegger and Tin Can Mailman, and a sketchbook plus colored pencils doesn’t cost much at all.

If your relatives long to dote on your child, let them. If pride keeps you from allowing this, get over it. The more people looking out for your kids, the better. If their taste runs extremely counter to yours, preempt with a list of specifics: “Hi! Hope you’re well! We’re doing great! Looking forward to the holidays and figured you’d want Janie’s ‘Santa’ list …”

Likewise, if you have a trusted and generous friend who gets your situation and proffers to help, accept. Some day you may be in a position to repay the favor; in the meantime, be an active listener, offer to babysit, do what you can to embody a good friend. The holidays are about giving: let them give.

If you have similarly cash-challenged friends, spend the holiday together. Pool resources, get crafty, bake cookies. While the whole presents thing truly is a Christmas problem to solve, the best memories revolve around food and family, including that family we choose ourselves. No matter what your financial status, you do have the power to create joy by being a loving, kind and positive person.
Keep noting Solstice. Nature is important. Resist the temptation to apologize for being broke. You can be just as gracious a hostess serving a $4 bottle of wine as a $20 bottle. Buy what you can for your children, but if you can’t ante up for the latest iPod or coolest cell phone, well, that’s the breaks. Curtail whining by having the kids donate clothes or canned foods. Ask them to write down all the things they’re lucky to have (a home, a bed, no cavities, a nice mom, whatever). Put down a dollar for each thing they list. Go together to buy a gift for Toys for Tots. When they go to bed, make your own list. Some people have nothing; some have lost more than money can fix. If that’s not you, be grateful. Remind yourself, the holidays aren’t about money. Not completely.

I’ve even learned to love Christmas.

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