Saving Sam
(Dec. 25, 2008) The early winter sun shone in a glittery slant onto the bright green grass of the field, on the edge of Arcata, where you had to cross muddy braids of earth and streamlets to get to higher ground. There were cows in a distant corner of the field, noses down. The highway and a busy side road were near, and you could hear cars swishing by, but out here in the deep green field the car noise converted to an odd, soothing windscape — which you accepted because it was expected in this semi-urban wedge of nature.
Shovels scraped and clanged, hitting rock. Crunched into packed earth, ripping grass. Clumps of people, rubber boots halfway up their legs, stomped on the shovels, or bent over freshly dug holes to carefully insert spindly young trees — roots finally freed of their hardpacked pots.
A couple dozen people came to the field that afternoon of Nov. 16, right after the memorial. Many had never met before. Others had done multiple tree plantings and restoration projects together. Just about all of them had been among the 80-plus people inside the Arcata D Street Neighborhood Center that morning, celebrating a mutual friend.
There, they had talked about Sam: kind, gentle, funny, sensitive, exceedingly reserved, excruciatingly smart, empathetic to a fault — and a volunteer who put just about all other volunteers to shame. Really. She was a phenomenon, they said. The 28-year-old wildlife biologist, who’d moved to Humboldt in late 2006, would bike miles, rain or shine, to yank out invasive English ivy in the forest or to pull up non-native grass in the dunes or to lead a guided walk.
“One time,” Natalie Arroyo had recalled, “Sam came to a restoration day out at Lanphere Dunes [north of Arcata], and she rode her bike there from Eureka. And I remember she was 10 minutes late, and she said, ‘I’m so sorry I’m late.’”
Other times, she’d scrape up cash, which she had very little of, to rent a car to get to a volunteer event. And she’d do all that on the weekend, after a full work week knee-deep in a stream or at the lab or office. And all that’s not even half of it.
In the field, Sam’s friends, coworkers and fellow volunteers dug holes together. Some sat in a circle around their small planted tree, placing pretty rocks around it and talking. Others kept digging new holes, with vigor. The tree planting, though it would have been done anyway, was now done in Sam’s honor.
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on the cover
Railroad!
Proposed lines ‘set rich blood a-tingling’ in early 1900s
Some Other Proposed North Coast Railroads
Choo-choo Fantasies
Exposing this east-west rail nonsense
seven-o-heaven
Undeterred Will
Will chides Andrew for lack of attention to detail and makes plans for his inevitable victory.
Recent on the cover
May 17
Ring of Fire
Sun and moon will perform a rare pas de deux in Humboldt skies on Sunday
May 10
District Soup
Racing for the top county seat in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd districts
May 3
A Place in the Woods
As park closure deadline nears, a scramble to save what we can
Today
Celebrating Life in Humboldt
lecture / 7 p.m. Garberville Presbyterian Church, 437 Maple Lane. Local author/historian Jerry Rohde continues his series of regional history talks. This week: Garberville. 441-2700.
Mechanical Menagerie
events / 8:30 p.m. Redwood Raks World Dance Studio, 824 L St., Arcata. Whimsical all-ages animal-themed benefit for Nighshade Serenade. Music by Gunsafe, fire show, animal hijinx by Blue Angel Burlesque, bellydancing and silent auction. $10. E-mail megjclarke@hotmail.com. 832-8973.
NightHawk (classic rock)
music / 9 p.m. Cher-Ae-Heights Casino, 27 Scenic Dr., Trinidad.
Jim Wilde (jazz)
music / 7 p.m. Persimmons Garden Gallery, 1055 Redway Drive, Redway. 923-2748.
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11 Comments
Comment / By ldr / Dec. 25, 2008, 9:54 p.m.
I’d just like to know one thing… if I had a dollar, who’d sam like me to donate it to?
Comment / By Lisa / Dec. 29, 2008, 11:35 a.m.
Sam will be sorely missed.
Comment / By Bill / Dec. 29, 2008, 2:35 p.m.
Vaya con dios, mouse. You took a piece of me with you ….
Comment / By sageplant / Dec. 29, 2008, 4:22 p.m.
this story made me cry. i wish i could have know sam. but i did know my brother inlaw and he very recently commited sucide also. people really loved him and tried very hard to get him the help he needed. to those who were sams friends and family…get the help you may need to deal with this also. may we all find the peace we need
Comment / By Shannon / Dec. 31, 2008, 3:53 p.m.
I had no idea. I met her a few times as volunteer coordinator for Baykeeper and she stopped returning my calls - obviously she had plenty of other commitments to fill her time, I only wish she had been able to fill whatever emptiness got her in the end. Blessed be all those who supported her. Peace to you all in Humboldt.
Comment / By Ron / Dec. 31, 2008, 8:05 p.m.
This is simply a stunningly well written essay that deserves to win a prize for journalism.
Comment / By mystified / Jan. 2, 2009, midnight
This story touched me deeply, as I have seen “Sam” in so many others in my life. Sam was a person I would have wanted to thank for all her efforts, and person I could have learned from, as I am so proud of all these people who work tirelessly to restore nature to it’s natural habitat, and other community service projects.
It is hard to shake the emotional and physical abuses one receives as a child. Counseling is available, and there are some medications that help some people. Having a friend one can trust to talk with about these things can really help too, if they listen and understand.
If you ever feel this way, the way Sam did, please call the Suicide Hot line, open 24/7 at 707-445-7715. Those people are trained and very supportive.
Also, I just found out that Humboldt State University offers excellent counseling at a discount, and they come highly recommended. Please reach out if you feel like Sam did, and let a friend or loved one help you get the help you need, as things will seem much brighter right around the corner if you can just hang in there.
Comment / By Mitch / Jan. 3, 2009, 9:11 a.m.
I agree with Ron (above, #6) that this is a stunningly well-written essay.
I’m sure Sam would be hopeful that this story will help someone.
And if you are considering suicide, please call the Suicide Hotline mentioned in #7. Things may seem unbearable, but see if you can hold off for just five minutes and talk with someone.
Comment / By Just Friends / Jan. 10, 2009, 10:43 a.m.
My loving support and prayers go out to this family. Few realize suicide is more common than murder. The aftermath of a loved one’s suicide is a special devastation for any family to endure. Please attend a support group. Others who have walked that path can be of help.
http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=8E1B374F-F0C8-4FBA-B9AD43B2E1DDE1C6
Support After Suicide (S.A.S.) meets at 7 PM Every 3rd Monday of the month at the Adorni Center 1011 Waterfront Drive Contact: Kathy Glaspey 707-839-3349 mickeygramma@sbcglobal.net
Comment / By eric / Jan. 15, 2009, 2:06 p.m.
Sam is alive and well.
Comment / By crys / Oct. 2, 2009, 4:15 p.m.
I met Sam briefly, once or twice through the AmeriCore volunteer project. I remember talking with her as she was somewhat new to the area. She was quiet, well-spoken, and seemed to have a gentle heart. I only wish I could have made a stronger attempt to be a friend. I also suffer from depression, and feel as if i missed an opportunity for two young girls to meet, we could have helped each other. i am sure sam is at peace now, i onlly hope