BIGFOOT TRAPPED BY NORCAL FANATIC!
PGF had to go down. Humboldt style.
The Next Best Thing
The Brady Bill having rendered me unable to fulfill Krantz’s directive to strap a Wookiee carcass to the bed of my Toyota, I resolved to get the next best thing: A smoking-gun picture. By 2007 standards, Roger Patterson was handicapped by a funky, hand-cranked dinosaur of a movie camera. I could do better.
Logging onto eBay, I “Buy it Now”-ed a game-tracking camera with an infrared trigger. Battery powered, rain-proof and equipped with a 4.0 mega-pixel digital camera and a flash, I would deploy it in the Haunted Forest.
Constructed of heavy-duty ABS plastic and shoebox in size, my Bigfoot voyeur cam would stay wide awake 24/7, silently awaiting that magic moment when an unwitting Bigfoot tripped its infra-red beam.
Technology would be my silent assassin; the infra-red robo-cam would bring about the downfall of PGF, and put Sasquatch in Biology 101 textbooks. My crypto-geek brethren on Bigfootforums.com would soon hail me King of the Cryptodorks.
I vowed to emerge from Redwood National and State Parks in a week’s time with a digital smoking gun. The Park is a special place. Having backpacked extensively throughout Northern California’s Trinity Alps and Marble Mountains wildernesses — and, indeed, along the Bluff Creek drainage, where Patty was filmed — I can attest first-hand to the Park’s spooky, ancient mystique and treacherous “Mother Nature bats last” topography.
The perfect hiding place, in other words, for a relic population of man-like monsters.
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Label GMOs Signature Gathering Training
meetings / 4 p.m. Sun Yi's Academy of Tae Kwon Do, 1215 Giuntoli Lane, Arcata. Help gather valid signatures to get the 'California Right to Know Genetically Engineered Food Act' on the 2012 ballot. E-mail northernhumboldtlabelgmos@hotmail.com. 223-0424.
Open Celtic Music Session
music / 3 p.m. Cafe Veritas/Mosgo's, 180 Westwood Center, Arcata. Informal monthly gathering of musicians playing Irish and other Celtic music. Hosted by Seabury Gould. seaburygould.com. 845-8167.
Nonviolence Action Camp
etc. / 10 a.m. Chinmaya Mission near Piercy. Weekend-long direct action orientation features workshops, role playing, seminars, ceremonies and field trips. Bring food, bedding, warm clothes, signs, banners, bikes, drums, acoustic instruments. Pre-register. saverichardsongrove.org. 932-5898.
Audubon Society Field Trip
outdoors / 9 a.m. Humboldt Bay National Wildlife Refuge, 1020 Ranch Road, Loleta. Meet at Refuge Visitor Center off Hookton Road. Leisurely, two- to three-hour trip intended for people wanting to learn birds of Humboldt Bay area. 822-3613.
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