in review / By Heidi Walters

Free Stuff: Bargains, Discounts And Other Things of Value in Northern Humboldt County, Calif.

(Oct. 18, 2007)  Hell, everybody wants free stuff. And, damn, you see a book called Free Stuff and you’re just absolutely, hyperventilatingly certain that you’re gonna flip that thing open and behold a step-by-step guide to skating by without dropping a penny. Jackpot! With the quarter found on the floor!

But sensitive-man-about-town Fhyre Phoenix has got more depth than that. His self-published manual, an eight-and-a-half-by-eleven office-paper affair in plastic black comb binding, is no crafty directive to leech off society. Quite the opposite: It’s a gentle — fatherly — nudge toward being a better citizen while nurturing yourself with costless or severely discounted treats as you travel that high road.

By Fhyre Phoenix. Self-published

GALLERY >

In other words, Free Stuff isn’t so much about all the free rides, eats, shows, dental care and pens to be scooped up in NoHum (although those are in there) as it is about taking a peek — no, a skull-wide-open gander — into Phoenix’s perpetually pondering brain. And because it is neatly arranged in alphabetical order — the book, not Phoenix’ brain — the overall effect is one of sheer, disconnected ramblings. Delicious. Maddening. Let’s take a look:

Page 19, top of the page: “ The Raven Project , 523 T St., Eureka, 443-7099, offers free clothing and shoes for youth ages 10-21 …” Bottom of the page and most of page 20: “ Coffee Cost Comparison .” Phoenix has clearly done his research, because he’s listed the price of a cup o’ 12-oz joe at 21 NoHum bean-friendly establishments, everywhere from Cafe Mokka to Muddy’s to Heuer’s Cafe.

Page 26, near the top: “ Dance (also see: Exercise, Yoga) . For joy, social connection and good health. Enough said.” He lists a community dance jam with a sliding scale/nobody-turned-away pricing system and the Folklife Society’s gigs, to which you can “gain free entry by volunteering for one hour.”

Page 27 (after the listing for College of the Redwood’s low-cost dental care clinic), under “Department Stores,” is an entry for Mervyn’s 50- to 75-percent discount sales “every Wednesday.” That’s followed by “Depression Stoppers.”

Page 32-33: The Elders of the Hopi Nation Speak. (An uplifting poem.)

Page 42, top of the page: Food Stamps . Middle of page: Free Tibet .

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