
today
8:30 a.m. Audubon Society Field Trip See Event Description
read >9 a.m. Arcata Farmers' Market Arcata Plaza
read >9:30 a.m. Discovery Walk: Unknown Waterfront See Event Description
read >9:30 a.m. Manila Dunes Restoration Manila Community Center
read >10 a.m. Manila Dunes Guided Walk Manila Community Center
read >10 a.m. Library Book Sale Humboldt County Library
read >10 a.m. Dia de los Muertos and Mexican Folk Art Sale Private Eureka home
read >10 a.m. Final Arcata Farmer's Market Arcata Farmers' Market (off the plaza)
read >11 a.m. Donlin Foreman Dance Workshop Dell'Arte
read >2 p.m. Humboldt Coastal Nature Center Draft Trails Plan Walk Stamps House
read >5 p.m. Bati Zado and Show Redwood Raks World Dance Studio
read >6 p.m. The Tumbleweeds Chapala Cafe
read >6 p.m. Ali Chaudhary (jazz duo) Libation
read >6:30 p.m. Not Evil, Just Wrong Humboldt Area Foundation
read >7 p.m. Guitar Stan (country) Old Town Coffee & Chocolates
read >8 p.m. Guitar Orchestra of Barcelona Arkley Center for the Performing Arts
read >8 p.m. Stones in His Pockets Arcata Playhouse
read >8 p.m. A Christmas Carol North Coast Repertory Theater
read >8 p.m. Donna Landry Swing Dance Moose Lodge
read >8 p.m. North Coast Wind Ensemble Fulkerson Recital Hall at HSU
read >8:30 p.m. The Last Minute Men (international) Cafe Mokka
read >9 p.m. Ian McFeron Band (folk rock) Six Rivers Brewery
read >9 p.m. The Michael Paul Band WAVE @ blue lake casino
read >9 p.m. The Generatorz (classic rock) Central Station Cocktail Lounge
read >9 p.m. Taxi Bear River Casino
read >9 p.m. VJ Itchie Fingaz Pearl Lounge
read >9 p.m. Jack Ruby Presents + Blue Street + Acufunkture (DIY rock) Jambalaya
read >9 p.m. 2nd Annual Scorpio Bash The Red Fox Tavern
read >10 p.m. Music by DJ Sidelines
read >10 p.m. DJ Icy Hot Aunty Mo's Lounge
read >10 p.m. Jemimah Puddleduck (rock) Humboldt Brews
read >10 p.m. White Manna + Midday Veil + The King Salmon Duo (rock) Jambalaya
read >11 p.m. Radio Moscow (psychadelic blues) + Mosquito Bandito (one-man surf/garage) The Alibi Lounge and Restaurant
read >previous columns
June 26, 2008
Mammals of Mass Destruction
Or, what is the best way to murder and dismember gophers?
read >Photos
Vegetative Matter
By Amy Stewart
In February, a couple dozen of our friends and relatives made the windy, rainy trek to Humboldt County for the grand reopening of our bookstore. It was yet another winter family gathering. They’ve been here before at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and now, after having made the journey in February, they probably think that Eureka has nothing to offer but gray skies and storms.
They probably also think that I am a completely incompetent gardener, which is not entirely off the mark. However, the garden is at its worst in February, and I was embarrassed to have anyone even look out the window over that weekend.
The backyard, which I have come to call the “chicken yard,” is the worst. It’s planted with tough perennials that grow into larger and larger clumps every year and produce nothing that the chickens would be tempted to eat. What that means is that in the winter, the chicken yard is nothing but mud and scraggly little patches of green. A vacant lot looks better than my backyard in February.
Then the family goes away, and summer rolls around, and the garden positively explodes. Right now it is awash with Shasta daisies, some of which are almost as tall as I am. I have two chairs in the middle of the backyard; when you sit down in the chairs, you completely disappear. I’ve never liked gardens that are nothing more than a carpet of flowers on the ground — I like to be enveloped in a garden, to be completely surrounded by it, to look plants in the eye rather than having to bend over and study them. And that’s the kind of garden I’ve ended up with.
What astonishes me is that so much vegetative matter is getting created in my backyard everyday. Biomass that wasn’t there yesterday is there today. Plant cells are multiplying and dividing at a rate that I can’t even fathom. I have about an eighth-grader’s understanding of how this is all possible — and I say “about” because I’m pretty sure that if an eighth-grader called up and quizzed me on botany, I might come up short — but still, the rampant, freakish growth that happens in the garden this time of year is mostly not explained by my rudimentary botanical knowledge. It’s simply astonishing and perplexing. After all, this garden gets nothing more than chicken manure and ground-up bits of last year’s garden as food. No Miracle Gro, no magic potions, no special techniques, not even any well thought-out plant selection. So how is this possible?
I wondered. And then I read an article in the New York Times Magazine about the effects of carbon dioxide on weeds. A group of USDA scientists wanted to do some studies in a laboratory to predict what effects climate change would have on weed growth, but wouldn’t you know it, the budget to study climate change has been slashed. So this scientist — a guy named Lewis Ziska — stumbled across a vacant lot in Baltimore that just happened to mirror the higher CO2 levels and higher temperatures that scientists are forecasting for the future. He planted some weeds in a vacant lot and compared them to weeds he planted in a couple of test plots around the country.
The Baltimore weeds exploded. Lambs quarters hit twelve feet tall in a single season. One weedy exotic tree species that normally reaches five feet made it to twenty. An invasive grass produced seventy percent more biomass than it normally would. And that’s not all — these mutant weeds spewed out more pollen and shrugged off herbicides. They were not only bigger and stronger, they were actually invincible.
Why is that such a big deal, you ask? Perhaps you’re thinking this will be good for the planet, because the plants will gobble up all that CO2 and turn it into nice healthy oxygen. Not so fast. The carbon hasn’t gone anywhere, according to scientists who are better at explaining this than I am. The plants and the soil simply can’t store all the excess carbon; there won’t be enough nitrogen to break it all down; it just doesn’t work that way, etc. etc.
So now my cute cottage-garden backyard is starting to freak me out. It’s all very Jurassic Park out there. I have to fight my way through the undergrowth just to get around. Both my pruning shears and my hand shovel have disappeared into the thicket; I’m thinking of buying a machete and a blowtorch for my next set of gardening tools.
Now if only there was something out there that I could eat. Many of you have written in to express sympathy over the gopher invasion of the straw bale garden. More updates soon. Meanwhile, I’m going to go outside and feel anxious while my plants grow. Stay tuned.



















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