Listen, Humboldt. I know your New Year's resolution was to finally sculpt that bangin' beach bod you've been craving others would crave for, geez … how many years has it been now? And you finally got your hands on a P90X set that your overambitious friend gave up on. This is it. Time to become an object of desire for 2012! Yum.
Lemme end the suspense for you. This whole workin' hard on workin' out deal? It's, like, difficult.
But I've got good news! Expanding your brain is way sexier than expanding your biceps. Ask around. When folks really think about it, they'll admit that there's nothing sexier than a powerful, wrinkly set of lobes. Ask Arthur Miller. Dude landed Marilyn Monroe. Not too shabby.
Need more proof that thinkin' is sexy? Look no further than the return of Six Rivers Planned Parenthood Advocates for Choice's Sexytime Trivia Night, 7:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 20 at HumBrews. Teams will test their carnal knowledge of sex topics in categories like "Humping Through History" and "Sex For One," competing for "fun" prizes. (Translation: Someone's winning a vibrator).
The evening will be hosted by the extremely sexual Ms. Gina Figueroa. Ask her the difference between "vulvas" and "vaginas" -- she'll sing you an answer. And KSLG's resident stud DJ Myles Cochrane? Dude totally bucks the trend for how sexy DJs can be. Hands off, girls. He's married.
Tickets for Sexytime Trivia are $10. To register your team, head over to firstgiving.com/srplannedparenthood/trivianight. Flex your brain and stay sexy, HumCo.