To all the people who fear this "encroachment"; it's going to be okay, the long bus is just like the short bus, just bigger.
"Hey, you've got your ignorance in my compassion!"
"No, you've got your compassion in my ignorance!"
Two great tastes together at last.
New information has surfaced that indicates that Benjamin Franklin is a Vampire and did not die in 1790 as stated by the media of the time. It is speculated that he has currently assumed the identity of one John Sirrico of Lolita, Ca. It's a shame that at some point during the last 200 years he suffered some sort of traumatic brain injury. However, for someone nearly 306 years old this January, he looks remarkably well, as he doesn't look a day over 275. He is quite dangerous and the general public would be wise to steer clear of any contact. However ,if for any reason he should be in your vicinity, it is said that he is repulsed by vagina and that it can be used to ward off this undead abomination.
In Print This Week:
Dec 12, 2013
vol XXIV issue 50
The North Coast Journal Weekly
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