table talk / By Joseph Byrd

Just Ducky

Being a duck rancher (ahem) — and observing how ducks eat — has also given me a different perspective on PETA’s radical vegan agenda to deny all use of animals by humans, especially that strange proposition that they managed to get passed in California, banishing foie gras from both farms and menus. Based on the actions of a small percentage of the industry, PETA demonized the fattening of all ducks and geese.

Their TV commercial on “force-feeding” has footage that I have no doubt is legit. Abuse of ducks, or for that matter any food animal, is unacceptable to anyone. But it nearly always occurs in commodity-food factories, not with small producers. I have seen equally legitimate footage of a foie gras farm where the process is not assembly-lined, but humane. The ducks eagerly flock into the feeding shed to gorge (they will happily eat until they burst, all on their own).

The fact is, artificial fattening has been practiced since ancient Egypt, and its likely origin is simple: Ducks are gluttons. And what’s wrong with that? They are food animals. Most of them are going to be slaughtered. Why not let them live their last days in Duck Heaven?

Our own ducks expect regular snacks to supplement their grain and critter diet, and complain bitterly when they are not forthcoming. Friends say, “Oh, how cute! They’re quacking at you,” but what they’re really saying is, “Snack. Snack-snack-snack. Snack-snack.” After their evening feeding, they gather around the kiddie-pool and skim bugs off the surface. Their part of our yard, of course, is slug-free. They eat animals. They wouldn’t, I think, share PETA’s militant all-vegan world stance.

Alas, this is not a topic I can debate with Drako and his harem. They’re too busy bitching about not getting enough food.

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