Empty Promises

Even without Jar Jar Binks, this week’s releases ring false

(Feb. 16, 2012) Reviews

THE VOW. There is a moment, midway through The Vow, when Rachel McAdams flubs a line, spits chocolate into her own hair and falls apart laughing. The scene is obviously an outtake, and we cut away before she or costar Channing Tatum fully break character. It’s a completely organic moment, and it happens to be the only one in the whole movie. As such, it highlights the fact that The Vow is disappointingly superficial.

The Vow

GALLERY >

The simple story has been told before, though it’s apparently inspired by true events. A happily married couple survives a car crash, but it robs the wife of every memory of her married life. Essentially, she reverts to the woman she was before meeting her husband.

If the filmmakers had approached the subject differently, they could have filled this movie with moments like the one described above. I think McAdams and Tatum have it in them, if directed properly, to really live in the characters they play. Not to say either one could pull off Margaret Thatcher, but they’re both talented enough. Unfortunately, director/co-writer Michael Sucsy treats them more as names on a marquee than actors, so their talents are mostly wasted. Plus, I would have a hard time believing Tatum as a bohemian indie-rock producer, no matter who was directing. Dressing him in cabled sweaters with toggle buttons doesn’t help. He looks like he’s trying unsuccessfully to fit in at a Big Sur key party circa 1973.

My wife and I saw this in a theater full of people who couldn’t have enjoyed it more. They laughed at all the jokes, sighed at the sad parts and got all giggly whenever Tatum took off his shirt. Based on that reaction, the movie is a resounding success. But for me, it never digs deep enough into the terror and desolation that would inevitably accompany such events. PG13. 104m. At the Broadway and Mill Creek.

JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND 3D. I was prepared to really enjoy this sequel to 2008’s Journey to the Center of the Earth. I never saw the first installment, and beyond the trailer I had no idea what to expect. But I like fantastical escapist fare as much as anybody, and with Luis Guzman, Michael Caine and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the cast, I had high hopes — hopes that were dashed almost immediately.

The basic premise is completely implausible, but I can forgive that. A teenaged Jules Verne acolyte (Josh Hutcherson) somehow intercepts an encoded radio transmission from his long-lost adventurer grandfather. His stepfather (Johnson), who happens to be a Navy-trained cryptographer, helps him decipher the message. Then they fly halfway around the world, charter a helicopter and crash land on a mysterious island. Complications ensue.

The problem here is that the filmmakers seem to think they have to dumb-down the material just because it’s a family movie. The jokes are flat and obvious, and the dialogue is mostly exposition. Midway through, Journey 2becomes a disaster movie, but the danger that might have made it thrilling never materializes. So we’re left with an adventure comedy with a stunted sense of humor and low-stakes action.

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