filmland / By Charlie Myers

Julia’s Secret

Roberts’ smile puts her over a Victoria’s Secret model

(July 7, 2011) TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

      I had read some relatively positive comments about Dark of the Moon, the third in this series, so I actually went to it with some faint positive expectations. You’d think I might have learned by now. I found the film to be mind-numbingly tedious.

Larry Crowne

GALLERY >

      Directed yet again by Michael Bay, the film has all of his hallmarks as a director of summer action films: overblown scenes, somewhat adequate acting, repetitive, loud action sequences full of great destruction, and a persistent underlying patriotism buttressed by a constantly swelling, inspirational soundtrack. If this sort of thing floats your boat, you should by all means rush to the film, and you should probably skip Woody Allen.

      As far as I can tell, the patriotic message has something to do with crushing your enemies into twisted metal and not worrying if your allies desert you. In other words, heed that inner testosterone and damn the torpedoes. Testosterone is certainly what this story of Autobots, who have aligned themselves with the humans of our country, versus Decepticons is all about. Indeed, with basically two exceptions, Transformers is an all-male world.

      One exception is Francis McDormand in a secondary role as Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing, who fits nicely into the male ethos. The other is 24-year-old Victoria’s Secret “Angel” and “world-class hottie” British model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley who, as Carly, replaces Megan Fox with a posher accent. The periodic caressing of her body by the camera is the only relief provided in the film from the relentless battles. In fact, the plot of the film can be summarized as loud battle, camera caress, loud battle, camera caress and so on until Carly joins the boys for the ending sequences where she mostly stands around wondering what to do.

      Whether Carly is an upgrade for our hero Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) I leave for the viewer to decide. As with the recent X-Men: First Class, I did relearn some history though, so the film wasn’t a total loss. As confirmed by Buzz Aldrin playing himself, it seems that the moon walk of 1969 was just another chapter in the Autobot/Decepticon conflict rather than a giant leap for anyone.

      You might try the 3D version; I’m sure it will enhance the action along with Huntington-Whiteley. PG-13. 154m. 3D at the Broadway (also 2D) and Fortuna, 2D at the Minor and Mill Creek.

LARRY CROWNE

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