The Apple Harvest Festival in Fortuna pays weekend-long tribute to the humble, versatile, universally loved apple. Right now, someone is objecting and saying he or she hates apples. Wrong. You're forgetting apple pie, apple-smoked bacon, caramel apples, apple fritters, apple martinis (oh, don't turn your nose up — we saw you in the '90s), green apple Jolly Ranchers and Gwyneth Paltrow's kid. (How can you hate a child?) Fight it all you want, but the apple will win you over one way or another.
From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday, Main Street will be taken over by an apple-centric street fair with no end of delights, including apple desserts, pulled pork and a bouncy house. When that ends, you can roll up on the roller skating party in Rohner Park's Firemen's Pavilion at 5 p.m. ($4, all ages). Been a while since you skated? There's no shame in hugging the wall.
Over at Clendenen's Cider Works, which you can get to and from via speeder car or hay wagon, there'll be live music, an apple wood barbecue, hayrides, and free cider and apple tasting all weekend starting at noon. Take a bite of Bellflower, Spitzenberg, Mutsu and Jonagold — all of which would have been better names for Kim and Kanye's kid.
Strongs Creek Plaza is hosting free kids' activities, including a pony carousel and face painting from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. What else do kids like? Fire trucks. The volunteer fire department has you covered with engine rides and demonstrations. You know, Jaws of Life, a military helicopter landing. And where there's smoke, sometimes there's pulled pork — proceeds from sandwiches and such go to families who lost homes to fire and to support firefighting families. So do your part and eat some pork.
Pop back down to Main Street on Sunday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and shop the Harvest Market for produce and crafts. And maybe one last speeder ride.