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There are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who cringe and clutch their artisanal loaves when they hear about a Spam cook-off, and those who start imagining what hammy delights they might whip up.

For the latter, behold the Spamley Cup Cook-off on Sunday, April 27 from 1 to 5 p.m. at Redwood Fields ($10 entry and tasting tickets, free for kids under 12). Pros and amateurs alike enter the arena and do battle can-o a can-o for the coveted cup.

That bald guy who eats poison cane toads on Bizarre Foods can't handle the Spam. But it's good enough for the Monty Python blokes, and it's a staple of that healthy Hawaiian diet you're always hearing about. (Umm ...) Spam sushi? Spam flambé? Why not? The Smashed Glass, the Monster Women, Cliff Dallas and the Death Valley Troubadours and Jimi Jeff and the Gypsy Band will all serenade you as you sample the Spamenstein creations and cast your vote for the People's Choice Award. The kids can play games while you mull over your decisions, and the whole thing benefits Humboldt CASA, a noble cause for a Spam throw-down. For these spatula-wielding men and women will enter the arena cooks and chefs, but they're going out processed-meat warriors.

We who are about to fry salute you.